You're My Everything (Septiplier)

"You should have texted about two minutes earlier."

-Mark's POV-

His lips moved away from mine as quickly as they first touched and I felt my body freeze like ice as he pulled away. The green eyes searching my face in concern, and maybe a bit of confusion as to what my reaction meant. We sat there for what seemed like hours before he moved his hand to reach towards mine.

Oh god, please don't make this worse.

A text alert stopped him, and both of us looked at my right pocket, and then back at each other. There was silence again, and then another text alert.

"I need to get that," I said quickly, and he sighed and nodded his head.

I turned away from him as I grabbed my phone, and my heart wished that Jack had just texted me a few minutes earlier.

J: Is everything ok? You two have been gone for hours.

J: Mark?

I could feel Hunter getting off of the bench behind me, and glancing back I could see him pacing as he waited.

M: I'll be home in about 15 mins.

I hit send and with more effort than I thought was possible I turn around fully and stand up to face him. If I had any ability to be angry at what he did, it would have evaporated within seconds of the way he was looking at me. The seriousness of what he had done was practically pouring out of him. He seemed to be having trouble deciding what to do with his hands, and he cleared his throat in an uncomfortable sort of way.

"Mark, I'm sorry that I kissed you like that if you weren't ready," he began, his tone trying to be casual, but for the first time ever, it was clear that he had no idea how to bend the conversation into anything close to casual. "I want us to discuss us, but I overstepped. It's just so difficult to be around you now."

I opened my mouth to respond, but shut it back quickly. I had no idea what to say to anything now. My brain was beyond rattled by everything that occurred, and then there was Jack. How would he deal with me being kissed?

"Please talk to me," Hunter said, moving a step forward. "Please say something. Anything."

"I need to go home," I replied, my voice strange and small in my throat.

As if he was expecting this to be one of a few options, he nodded his head again.

"Can we talk later this week then when you've been able to sort how you feel?" he offered, an almost hopeful air in his voice. "I meant what I said, Fish. I want to be with you."

It was painful to hear those words, especially when Felix was longing to hear them from him.

Felix.

The desire to hold off on telling Hunter how I truly felt was strong again, but at this point how was that even possible? The ability to let him know that I didn't have feeling of love either now or back then hung in the back of my throat.

There was no way that I could avoid him for the next few months, and at this point, what was left for him to say to me? I could see him struggling not to come closer to me. His massive arms were wrapped around his own body as if he was giving himself a reassuring hug.

"I need time," I heard myself say, though it still didn't feel like it was really me speaking the words.

His face showed me that this wasn't the response that he was hoping for, but at least I finally said something.

"I know that you're going to talk to Jack about what happened here," he muttered, placing his hands into his pockets. "I don't blame you for that at all. I know that he'll hate me for this either way, and honestly, he should."

"Hunter, Jack's not like - "

"Not like what, Mark? Jack is going to be hurt by this, no matter what you decide. Regardless of what you end up doing, Jack does love you. A lot. That's why I waited so long to tell you something. Jack loves you as much as Phoenix loves me. That's why I said that no matter how this ends up, I'm going to hurt people that I care about."

"Then maybe you need to reconsider what you are wanting to do. There could be a way to fix this."

He looked at me with almost admiration, his eyes narrowing as if that might help him understand my point of view even a little bit better. I was grasping at straws at this point, with no idea how I could make what I was saying even remotely feasible.

"Fix this? How? How do I fix the fact that after all these fucking years that...I'm still in love with you?"

My stomach fell like a stone at this, and the silence was thunderous between us.

"Hunter," I said, feeling like I would just have to finally be honest about my feelings, and hope that Felix would be able to pick up the pieces later than he wished. "I'm sorry, but - "

I froze again at the pleading green eyes, and how he seemed to almost be bracing for the force of my rejection.

I can't do it.

I can't just break a person's heart, even if it needs to be broken.

Not like this.

"But I need more time," I finish, hating myself for being such a coward.

"Ok," he said as he moved away from me, his breathing slightly lighter than a moment before. "Can we talk again then? Maybe next week...about this?"

"I can't promise you that right now."

He sighed as he started to turn away.

"That's fair. I'll wait for you to reach out to me then. I know that it won't make much of a difference but I did try to just push my feelings away. I really did. You just don't realize how wonderful you are."

"I'm not wonderful. I'm just...me."

He gave a soft chuckle as he finally began to walk away. "And that Mark, right there, is what makes you so wonderful."