You're My Everything (Septiplier)

"Your penis jokes inspire me to make better penis jokes.

-Jack's POV-

"Morning Jackrabbit!"

I choked on my coffee as Hunter came striding into the kitchen in tight black biker shorts and sandals.

Oh dear lord, is that the size of his...

"Mind me grabbing a cup from you?" he asked brightly, and I pulled my eyes back up to his smiling face.

"What? A cup? Of what?"

He chuckled loudly. "Of coffee, Mate. Just was doing some morning yoga and could use some fuel before my run with Fish."

I felt my brain finally connect his words.

"Coffee? Right! Yes, of course. Go right head. Help yourself."

Hunter winked and headed over to the coffee pot, his butt perfectly toned and firm.

And seriously, that can't be the size of his...

"Good morning, Bright Eyes," came Mark's voice behind me and I jumped.

I smiled and took another sip of my coffee. Mark kissed me on the forehead and hugged me. "It's weird to see you up before me," he whispered. "I missed snuggling up to you."

"Had a couple of videos to edit," I replied. "Robin is visiting his family so I'm on my own for the week. Felix is helping me later today."

The dubious look on Mark's face was epic.

"Felix is helping you out?"

"Yeah."

"You do know that we aren't insured for Felix related catastrophes that happen with our video equipment, right?"

Hunter snickered as he turned around to face us, and Mark's "Good Morning" to him got somewhat lodged in his throat as he glanced down at his biker shorts. I elbow him hard in the ribs and his eyes refocus to meet my face.

"The shorts are misleading," I muttered to him out of the side of my mouth. "There is no way in hell he could ride a bike with that middle leg he's packing."

Mark coughed laughed and headed over to the fridge, his face not looking over at Hunter again until he had grabbed the carton of orange juice and a glass.

Hunter seemed either oblivious to what we were saying or expertly taking the high road in the whispered exchange that Mark and I have had. His dazzling green eyes were on his phone as he leaned against the  countertop, his gorgeous dimpled face smirking at the screen.

"Want to let us in on the joke?" I asked, heading over to the kitchen table to join Mark.

"Phoenix is asking me when I'm getting breakfast for him," Hunter chuckled, typing out a fast response.

"Isn't Fe upstairs?" Mark asked, his dark eyebrows raised in slight confusion.

"He is," Hunter answered, his amusement still in tact.

"Felix is texting you to bring him breakfast upstairs?" I asked, almost impressed with his level of nerve and laziness.

"Not just breakfast," Hunter smirked, standing up straight and beginning to walk out of the kitchen. "He wants breakfast from Eggslut."

"That place is across town," Mark stammered, his eyes looking stunned at the amazing request.

Hunter shrugs his shoulders as he turned the corner into the hallway. "I don't mind getting him some breakfast. Last night was crazy so I think the least I could do is get him the breakfast he prefers after what I did to him."

Hunter winked as he finished leaving the room and Mark and I exchanged amused grins.

"Well then," Mark said taking another sip of of his orange juice. "Should we assume that Felix has suffered from internal organ damage after being with him?"

I nodded sadly. "Guess we have to put the poor guy down. Should I get the shotgun, or should you?"

Mark laughed. "Wow babe, that's dark even for you."

"Felix is getting a gourmet breakfast delivered to him in bed by an incredibly hot former model who's hung like a fucking horse. I'm allowed to be a bit salty about it."

Mark raised up his glass in a mocking toast. "To the winner of the morning, Felix Kjellberg. May he choke on his next bite of his favorite breakfast sausage."

I giggled, and raised my half full mug of coffee up to join him in sexual double entendres.

"We are such horrible people," Mark said, his laughs bringing tears to his gorgeous brown eyes.

"Yes, probably," I agreed sitting back down, "but for the record I still have no idea how you dealt with him in college. I'm pretty sure that would be assault with a deadly weapon in most states."