Confession #21: I am very mean to my phone
So this confession pretty much says it all. As you know I told you that I had to do a serious conversation with my ex. It was generally short, and also very awkward. In fact when he replied, I did NOT reply him back until a good one hour passed. I was just so paranoid. HOWEVER, when I did eventually reply, I was so scared of his reaction that I threw my phone on my bed. Which wasn't a great idea because it once slammed against my wall MANY TIMES.
Although it was a very hard convo (and even more awkward just to think about it), we settled the matter. We were going to be friends. As violent I am with my phone, it still holds precious memories of us. I still have many text messages that my ex sent saved, just to tell me that not every guy is a jerk at my school. That there is a possibility in love. That someone IS capable to love me. I still have them, so that when I am having a bad day, I can reead those messages and have good memories come to me. So I kept them.
As of now, I am fasting because of my religion and because it is the month of Ramadan. I'm glad to have had this conversation before the start of Ramadan. Clearly to me, my muslim month of Ramadan, is all about starting fresh. So now, I'm becoming a little more religious this month than any other one. Because I need to start fresh. I need to be calm, and ready. Even scientists say that praying is a great big stress reliever. SO i'm doing it.
Because of fasting, my brain will be very slow when it comes to writing. So fo this month, I may skip many days in writing confessions. But hell, I will survive! :)
Now, just because I had this converation with my ex, does NOT mean that I am nice to my phone. IN FACT I AM STILL VERY ABUSIVE TO LULU. (Yes, my phone's name is lulu. Problem? No, okay good. becasue I got one less problem without you... (got that referenece heehehhe :P)) I decided to text him since if we don't text at all, our physical meeting will be HELL MORE AWKWARD than if we text before our physical meeting.
That is why a couple of minutes ago, I sent him a simple text, "Hi" I was feeling SO awkward and skittish, that it took me FIVE WHOLE MINUTES TO PUSH THE SEND BUTTON. After I pushed the send button, I yelped and threw my phone on the bed.
This time, it bounced on my bed, hit the wall and now is lying in the little space between my bed and the wall.
I guess I should check my messages and check if my phone is okay huh? Well okay okay, I will do it.
I feel bad for my phone but what else can yo do? I'm texting the MOST AWKWARDEST PERSON in my contacts? His name gives me the chills!
Sadly, it looks like he has moved on, so I gotta act like I am too. Oh well. At least he showed me beautiful moments in my life that I am grateful and cannot forget. AT. ALL.
THIS IS IT GUYS I AM GOING TO CHECK MY PHONE AS SOON AS I HIT THE SAVE AND PUBLISH BUTTON!
YOU ARE READING
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe I'm just Taz. A girl who is...