Confession #15: Sometimes I hate when life kills my happiness
Okay so spring break started. Woohoo no school. I'm really happy with that break, I really am, I have waited for a break and honestly I deserve it.
Friday March 7 2014 was the best day of my life. Not only did I get assigned an important role for robotics, I also got the chance to find out that one of the robotics team members asked someone out. It was generally a good day. It became the best day ever when I got asked out through text by a robotics member. He is physically disabled so he sits in one of those power chair. But honestly, that doesn't matter to me. I mean everyone deserves to be loved. And I love him like that. His personality is amazing.
Of course I said yes. I was happy and he was happy. Except I have been going through many conflicts....
1. My mom HATES young love and religiously we are not supposed to date.... EVER. Especially during young age. So it has to be a secret from her.
2. He is probably going to join us from lunch... and i dont think my friends like that.... I messaged them and they are ignoring me
3. I don't know how long he will last with me... probably not. The world always brings me down... he could proabably leave me to my problems... something idk if i could handle
My bro knows and I told him. He was okay with it. I'm crying now. Why is it when I'm happy, everyone isn't? Everyone is sooo against me being happy. I mean this is my first relationship but they feel jealous and lonely because they are single.
I have been single for 15 years. I know how it feels, but I didn't get pissed or jealous. I know that I am a good person, waiting for the right guy to ask me out.
When people need a smile, I'm there. But when I need someone to lean on too, there's no one there. I can't tell my new bf... He'll think I'm vulnerable.
Sometimes I wish life could stop tearing my happiness... why is it that I face these things alone? No one will be there. I need to be independent.
But I'm 15.... can't I get some help?
YOU ARE READING
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe I'm just Taz. A girl who is...