Confession #15

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Confession #15: Sometimes I hate when life kills my happiness

Okay so spring break started. Woohoo no school. I'm really happy with that break, I really am, I have waited for a break and honestly I deserve it.

Friday March 7 2014 was the best day of my life. Not only did I get assigned an important role for robotics, I also got the chance to find out that one of the robotics team members asked someone out. It was generally a good day. It became the best day ever when I got asked out through text by a robotics member. He is physically disabled so he sits in one of those power chair. But honestly, that doesn't matter to me. I mean everyone deserves to be loved. And I love him like that. His personality is amazing.

Of course I said yes. I was happy and he was happy. Except I have been going through many conflicts....

1. My mom HATES young love and religiously we are not supposed to date.... EVER. Especially during young age. So it has to be a secret from her.

2. He is probably going to join us from lunch... and i dont think my friends like that.... I messaged them and they are ignoring me

3. I don't know how long he will last with me... probably not. The world always brings me down... he could proabably leave me to my problems... something idk if i could handle

My bro knows and I told him. He was okay with it. I'm crying now. Why is it when I'm happy, everyone isn't? Everyone is sooo against me being happy. I mean this is my first relationship but they feel jealous and lonely because they are single.

I have been single for 15 years. I know how it feels, but I didn't get pissed or jealous. I know that I am a good person, waiting for the right guy to ask me out.

When people need a smile, I'm there. But when I need someone to lean on too, there's no one there. I can't tell my new bf... He'll think I'm vulnerable.

Sometimes I wish life could stop tearing my happiness... why is it that I face these things alone? No one will be there. I need to be independent.

But I'm 15.... can't I get some help?

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