Confession #82

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Confession #82: Anxiety is overwhelming me.

It's consuming me. As finals are approaching, I can't breathe. I am so overwhelmed. I'm emotionally breaking down. I want to rid this body I have. I want out. Nowadays I cant even contain my tears. I did TERRIBLY on so many tests on Friday, I want to cry.

I can retake my history test so I'm going to work hard and study for it. I don't know if you can retake the math test. My friend, has been encouraging me to talk to my math teacher. He says I should at least ask and tell her how my grade is in peril and that I am desperate to work hard. I'm scared. Anxiety is overwhelming me. What if she gets pissed that I asked? What if she tells me too bad? I was googling this question and one person was like "you don't deserve retakes. That isn't life. You screw up, you move on and do better."

I hate it. I want to leave everything behind. I want to be at home not thinking about everything. I hate it. It's overwhelming me. It's taking me under. Anxiety is such a terrible thing. I get so afraid of talking to people. I genuinely freak out and my heart clenches and I can't breathe. I fidget and I can't do anything.

I can't get help at the moment.

People think that this feeling is normal... is it? Is it really? Is it really normal when your anxiety gets so bad that you feel like a useless person and not worth a damn thing.

I'll ask my math teacher in the morning tomorrow.

I will do it.

I CAN do it.

I mean the worst she can say is no right?

I'll just be open.

right?

Am I doing this right?

i don't know.

And my anxiety has increased again.

*sigh*

Bye.

Much Love,

Taz xx



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