Confession #23

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Confession #23: People complicate my life.

        I certainly do not like people. I used to, but now shiz happened and I kinda dislike them. I know I'm a person, that is certain. I have been dealing with drama, and people for a while. So it's not like I hate them entirely. I only dislike the ones who twist and tie my life into a significant knot that is difficult to untie and straighten out.

        I'm one of those people who can easily feel upset and anxiety and stressed out about certain things. I tend to care about what my parents think, what my family and friends think, and what soceity thinks. I do have my moments where I don't really care about anything and anyone at all, but that's not all the time.

        Last night for example, my mom accused me for texting really late at night. I didn't, I was only looking at my texts my friend sent me. I wasn't even tired yet she claims that it will harm my sleep. Of course when I'm tired, I turn my phone off and things like that. She took my phone, and placed it in her room. Another thing is that I'm mad at boys in general.

        YOU know, life would be so much more easier if YOU guys just told us girls what you think. You know, be open once in a while? IT REALLY TICKS ME OFF. I was texting my ex (we are on speaking terms as we decided to be buddies) about class schedule and our conversation was normal no rude texts or hurtful comments. However he was like texting me saying "lol brb" I replied back saying "okay". Guess what?

        He never ever said I'm back. He left me hanging. NO REPLIES FROM HIM THE ENTIRE DAY.

        If he doesn't want to talk to me, or isn't ready to talk to me, then just say so! I'M NOT A MIND READER. I won't be hurt if he needs more time. YOu maybe thinking that I'm overreacting, but I"m not. He does this many times. If he was busy, he would have told me "Sorry I was busy" the next day.

        Well the next day is today. Frankly it's 3 hours left till sunset. No text reply. I"m done with him. I"m just so frustrated.

        Sometimes I wanna ductape everyone's mouth so I can tell everyone how I feel without them pushing and pulling me and yelling and screaming and cursing me to stop or shut up. I'm fed up with people.

        Oh and tomorrow 6:30 in the morning I have a robotics meeting to attend to in the workroom. Ex will be there assured. 

        Idk why I'm so stressed out about attending the 6:30 morning  meeting tomorrow. My mom said that she will try to drop me off that early in the morning. 

        I'm just stressed and I think it's because I think I will oversleep and accidently skip the meeting, or my parents won't wake up, or will call me ungreatful. I like robotics. My parents do not.

        So I feel like I'm going to cry, because I'm just stressed out, kinda hyperventilating, my legs are bouncing up and down.


        I feel kinda better. Kinda.


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