Confession #74: I'm always frustrated
I'm frustrated because I can't keep my grades up
I can't focus
I can't breathe
My heart's beating out of my chest
I can't think
The monster inside me is awakening more often
I can't impress my mom
People are ashamed of me.
They are judging me.
I try so hard and I fail.
I try to change but I just can't.
I self harmed
No matter what I do I'M TRYING. I'M WORKING AND FALLING APART WORKING AND FALLING APART AND I'M FRUSTRATED THAT NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT.
The past keeps on being reminded.
At this point, I wouldn't mind death. Many nights my eyes have been wide open thinking about the ecstasy of going downstairs and swallowing my ticket to death.
But i'm fighting. I'm fighting the thoughts in my head and it's draining me.
I want to give up.
I wish I could sleep forever and stay in my room.
I'm fighting so hard, I zone out all the time.
I"m working so hard to focus on my grades, that I zone out on my chores.
I"m beyond stressed.
I want everyone to shut up and to stop moving because my world is dizzy.
My world is dizzy, and out of orbit.
I'm fighting, but I think I might be falling.
Hands grasping my heart, pulling me down to the beautiful depths of darkness.
Lights are turning on and off.
YOU ARE READING
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe I'm just Taz. A girl who is...