Confession #72: I'm small and shy, but that doesn't mean people can push me around.
Hey guys, sorry for that sad post last time. I assure you that this post will be much less sad than that day. My first day of schools in high school tend to be really scary and anxious filled. I'm slowly telling myself that this is my Junior year. I should just go with whatever I want because I won't be here for long anyway.
With that being said, a new confidence filled in my veins. I have noooo idea how long this confidence will last xD But it's nice when it stays. So with that confidence, I walked in to my robotics meeting on Thursday, hung out, talked, laughed, and gave them input on things needed to be inputed on. It was fun! After that I called my mom to pick me up and was waiting with two other robotics members. One of them was my past significant other and that day I talked to him just fine! I was so proud of myself. There was no nervous me, no sweaty palms. We talked about classes and just puns and all of that xD
I got yelled at by my mom and I'm proud that I've handled it well, I didn't get pissed like I normally do.
Today was a good day! I mean I was struggling with quizzes but other than that, I was like pretty happy. I'm even going start a new club that all my friends are supporting me in it. There is this girl (let's call her Jane) that's helping me and she wanted to be president... I don't know why it bothers me but I felt like I should be it. So we are co-presidents and that's what is making me anxious right now.
What if she takes credit? What instead of Taz's club it becomes her club? I'm scared of that because that has happened to me all of my entire life. I'm the quiet and shy one and when I come up with ideas, they snatch it away from me... I have just talked to her and she seems cool, but at the same time I don't know her very well. Jane has a best friend (lets call Jane's best friend Anna). Anna is an active robotics member, but she is so obsessed in taking credit and people give it to her. She isn't modest about it and she tells people how SHE is the one doing spirit SHE is the one writing the essay. It'd be nice to get some credit. But what i'm worrying is friends get influenced and changed by other friends... so what if Anna influenced Jane? What if it begins with Taz's club and all of a sudden people say JANE THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD CLUB IDEA would she say thanks or would she tell people that it was my idea??
Speaking up can be painful. I've done that for so so so long and friendships and get lost. I mean I'm speaking up for what's right but I hate it. I hate drama and I hate being in it. But at the same time I have seen the worst sides of high school already and I survived. Shouldn't I at least get to have fun and hang out with people?
I don't know.
Anxiety ruins everything doesn't it? xD
I love you all.
YOU ARE READING
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe I'm just Taz. A girl who is...