Confession #51: I wish I could escape reality and enter fantasy.
So, before I tell you anything I am going to warn you that there will be spoilers of Sherlock Season 2 in this confession. It relates to me as to how I feel. I will be talking about The Scandal in Belgurvia or whatever it is called.
Anyways, so I started watching Sherlock a couple days ago. I just watched The Scandal in Belgurvia and I am just so deep in thought about the character, the plot, and the plot of my life. I have been placing them side by side in my mind and the reality of them are like so close together...yeah I know that I am like 15 almost 16. But, I am a thinker.
Anyways, so in that episode, Sherlock meets a match called Irene. She is pretty seductive and extremely clever, like Sherlock. They produce somewhat of a love connection that is both unrequited but also somewhat of a strong connection. In the end, Sherlock figures out that Irene is in love with him, and he shows her no mercy when he unlocks the phone with the password "Sher" Making it appear to say I am SherLocked" Basically that reveals how much Irene has loved Sherlock. Later when Mycroft says that Irene Adler was beheaded, that is, not true. In fact, sherlock went to pakistan and saved her from being beheaded. In the end of the episode, he looks through his text messages and smiles, calling him the woman.
I look at their love life and compare it to mine. The only person I dated in my entire life was kind of like this. I felt sometimes that I loved him more than he did or vice versa. Our relationship was not based on the physical attraction. Not neccassirly no. It was how our minds thought. Our minds were parallel. I was the stupid one, he, the genius. However whenever it came to morality, love, and thoughts and feelings of life, our brain was both intellectually intertwined. We thought nearly the same, as a result our advice, love and comfort was the same and both very reliable.
In that episode, Sherlock lets go of his somewhat of a lover. In our relationship, it was the same.
I don't know why I am saying this, but I really wish I was in that fantasy, in that adventure, jjust be sweeped in, because in that fantasy, anything could happen. Here, everything is mundane, I am stupid, careless, always scared to talk.
Like right now, I am afrais to tell my parents about the robotics kickoff thing. I am just afraid since we have plans on this day and i have missed way too many days to even miss this one and it is an important one.
I hate myself.
I have been sassy but in reality, I feel broken inside for no reason.
I don't know.
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"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe I'm just Taz. A girl who is...