Sarah Montana Living In The Boys' Dorm

Ch 59. Sob Rules

In a bad mood... -.-

_________

I looked at it and it was like time froze. I'm done for. She knows, and not only that, she has proof. She has proof that I'm cross dressing as Chris.

How I'm getting out of this one? I don't know if it really is God that helps me out of these troubles or the devil having fun with my but I certainly need help now. I always get out of everything but I get a feeling that this time is not one of them.

How can I get rid of those pictures without looking like a psycho in front of the paparazzi outside the entrance? And knowing people like that I know she has another copy in her camera. And if she had time printing up it I bet she made another one. Then she'll post an article of me writing that I even tried to get rid of them.

This is like trying to solve a hard math problem(I'm not good with math).

"Looks like I got a good scoop looking at your expression..." she grinned. I had an urge to hit her. Hard. Right in the face. But that's common when she plans on spreading my secret to the whole world right? But I can't, because of the crowd outside watching us.

 "So what did you do with that boy in there...?" she asked me. I thought she had figured it out. I still have a shot.

"M-M-My boyfriend!" I yelled and attracted some attention from the crowd. They started screaming and the flashes increased.

"Oh really...?" she said as she wrote down something satisfied. A new scandal has come out. Not that I'm proud of it. But it's better than my secret.

I escaped. I don't really feel like being interviewed. I had told Darrén that we broke up and now the whole world thinks that I had sex with Chris. This is horrible.

I called Emíne and explained everything. She cursed so many times, just as much as I wanted but knew that I was being stalked by some photographers. I went into East Creket and screamed as loud as possible when I entered the music room, knowing that the walls are sound proof. Tears dripped down my cheek,

Thing get messed up. My life gets messed up. I'm messed up. I don't know what to do. 

I let out my whole life's tears I've always wanted to let out. It's nice to cry alone. Not that I've ever cried with someone else. I've never cried this much in my whole life.

I guess I've just ruined everything. I want to keep this life so badly but at the same time I don't want it. Just like I had said before I don't want to lie anymore, but being here makes it worth it anyway. I just don't know which feeling wins.

Emíne called several times and sent hundreds of texts asking me where I am but I can't answer. Not like this. I want to be alone. I can't let her see me cry. I don't want anyone to see me right now.

But really, what am I really crying for? The biggest thing is my mixed feelings of wanting to stop the three identities thing but still doesn't want to. But the second thing is how Darrén's face will look like when he sees the head lines of me sleeping with Chris.

I just don't know. I don't know how his face will look like but I know it won't be anything good. I can imagine how mad he'd be. And disappointed. That's the worst part.

Then I thought of something. This feeling inside of me... Why not just use it? Now when I have this awful feeling it's better than nothing to just make something out of it. I thought of making a song of it.

But there's a catch. I don't want to be famous for having sad songs. That's the only thing I've had since my debut actually. I decided not to because I bet it will just bother. It will just be an annoying song and my so called fans if I have any will just think I'm a loner that's always sad and then they'll stop supporting me. Great huh?