Hello hellooooo [smiles and waves]
Sooo... I've been working like crazy, and been busy, so tonight (this morning actually now, but whatever) that's all your getting.
I've just had a lot of pleas and I figured in the end "Aww what the heck"
So instead of going to bed and torturing you guys more, I uploaded but will probably still torture you guys! ;P
Anyway ya... last chapter wasn't me giving in, that was more like me finally posting a part I had written down for ages now, because yes it was the plan all along my little addicted! lol
I really like that play, what can I say! ;P
Anyway, thanks to you all who left comments! They made me smile, they made me laugh and they made me happy to have shared this story with you. I got so many all at once that I think it bugged the emails "You've received a comment on your story" thingy! lol
Sorry for not replying but trust me, they really meant a lot! :DDD
So THANKS!!!
Oh and quick side note. Right now in the story it's September 26th. Blake's birthday is October 21st. Just a FYI and both Lexi and Blake are still 17 for those who wonder. And Tyler is 16. And Vanessa 17. And Josh 21. Jayden would have been 23 and Kendal is 22.
Ages are clear now? lol
If you want more info on all the characters, like birthday and such, I have a bunch of list like that, because yes I do that. I actually make my characters do quiz and stuff to know them better! lol (Yes I'm THAT pathetic! ;P) So if you have any questions just go ahead and ask. Sometimes I'm forgetful! lol Especially at 3 and a half in the morning! lol
So enjoy this. If you don't like the pace or whatever, or feel like I'm not getting anywhere, please don't be a bitch about it, I'm easily pissed lately, blame all the 10 hours shift in a row I've been getting and the pedaling to work under the rain. But hey! Good thing is my legs are simply sublime right now! ;P
Read, enjoy, vote and comment! :P
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"What now?"
I kept repeating this over and over in my head.
What now?
What the hell was I supposed to do now? Was I supposed to talk about this with Blake after the play? Did this mean he liked me? Did this mean anything?
It didn't even HAVE to mean anything. It could mean nothing!
Oh my god...
What if it meant nothing?
What was I supposed to do then? If it meant nothing? What would I do? What should I say? Because I mean, I would still talk with Blake, interact with Blake, be friends with Blake. How could I be the same way as before, after kissing him?
Breathe Lexi! EFFING Breathe!
And I mean what did this mean to me? Why was I SO affected? Okay I probably knew the answer to that. But I wouldn't even as much as think it, because if that kiss didn't mean anything how much of a fool would I look and feel like?
And what do I say to Blake? Do I ask him about what just happened?
Because kissing didn't have to mean anything. It wasn't like in all those Hollywood perfectly ended movies where the two main characters at the end kissed and then lived happily ever after. In real life, most kiss didn't even mean anything.
But this was Blake... and wasn't Blake not supposed to kiss all his bimbos because he didn't care about them? So if he kissed me that meant he cared about me right? But what if I was just making things up in my mind and it really meant nothing and I was freaking out for nothing and oh god...
I wanted to start crying and felt like hyperventilating right in the middle of our presentation in front of the entire class.
I wasn't really aware of the lines being read and basically struggled to keep up.
What the hell had Blake been thinking kissing me like that in front of the whole goddamn class? Why the HELL did he have to do that? Why couldn't he do anything normal, why couldn't things be clear and easy with him? Why did everything need to be a struggle and constant questioning?
Was it really to much to ask to just KNOW what the hell was going on, what the hell was going through that really sexy head of his?
Because he just freaking kissed me! He kissed me and I probably lost a whole freaking lot of brain capacities after this and... oh my god... I kissed Blake.
No scratch that. Blake kissed ME. Blake freaking Eaton kissed me in front of an entire class.
Again, what now?
What the hell are you supposed to do after that? Normally the answer would be something along the lines of cornering him in the school halls the minute the bell would ring, I mean that was the easy answer but oh no, things couldn't be easy with me, now could they? Because what if I do "corner him" and then he starts laughing or something and say that the kiss didn't mean anything and if I had taken it that seriously maybe we should keep our distance or something, I mean wasn't that what happened normally with really hot guys? They asked their stalker to stay away?
Oh god...
Why did he have to kiss me and screw everything up in my head? And why did we have to have all those almost kiss that made me believe that the sweet nice extraordinary breathtaking one we had just shared really did mean something. I mean why couldn't he really like me and want to kiss me? He could right?
No he couldn't...
This was Blake we were talking about. Nothing was ever obvious and nothing was ever simple. So if a kiss made it obvious that a guy liked a girl, with Blake it wouldn't right?
And why was I questioning myself so much? Because I WAS beginning to hyperventilate now.
But I wanted to kiss Blake again, I did, very much so. This was obvious in my head too. And I... no I wouldn't think that. I wouldn't think about any feeling I thought I was having. Because I already knew what having your heart broken felt like. And I didn't want this right now, didn't need it.
UGH!
"This is surely the end!" I read, my last line, the last line of our part and then felt like just throwing the script in someone face or something. I felt like punching someone actually. Because if this really didn't mean anything, if kissing Blake had just been some set up or something to give us more points for the presentation, it had completely screwed up with my mind and I was now, more confused than ever, something I would never have though possible.
What now?
Really, could someone answer me? WHAT NOW?
What do I do!?
All our classmates started to applause at the end, the way things usually went as the teacher asked us to go back to our seats, after thanking us, and I couldn't help but notice the weird looks I was being given... mostly by girls.
Oh just freaking perfect! Like I needed this right now!
I sulked down on my seat, and Blake sat beside me but I tried to ignore him. I tried not to look at him, the only thing I wanted to do right now actually. But maybe I should look at him. What if he was looking at me? If he was smiling or something it would mean that the kiss meant something right? Or it could just mean that he was trying to be annoying like he usually was!
Okay, okay, I was being over-dramatic; he wasn't being annoying lately... well a little annoying but not ANNOYING-annoying just teasingly-fun-annoying...
Oh god listen to me... I was admitting I liked Blake's annoyingness...
This was BAD!
And I kissed him, well he kissed me but still, my lips made contact with his, Houston we have a problem! We don't know where the hell we're supposed to go from here! Do you copy? What do we do now? WHAT NOW?
Ugh!
Oh this was just ridiculous. Blake kissed me, it probably meant nothing, just the way he was completely unaffected afterwards, explaining it to the teacher and being all carefree and joking about it, just showed it could only mean nothing.
Blake had kissed me but it didn't mean anything.
End of it!
I kept my eyes fixed on the front of the class as another team went and did their presentation but all the sound was tuned out as I fought with myself against staring at Blake.
Because if I stared at him I would think about that kiss and if I thought about that kiss I would want to kiss him and then more.
Why, oh WHY did he have to do this to me? Why could he have just NOT kissed me, or if he had, at least made himself clear, stated the reasons, explained his position on everything, what it meant and why he had done it... a whole freaking report or something.
That would have been nice.
The "Blake for Dummies" sounded pretty good again!
My mental gibberish was interrupted by Daphnee's finger poking me on the side, pretty annoyingly actually, so I turned my head to the left to glare at her.
"What the hell dude?" she mouthed to me.
I shrugged, not sure what to answer to this.
True was, I didn't know dude!
She rolled her eyes at me but then opened her binder and took a sheet out, and started to write on it before passing it to me.
Good thing the teacher was sitting completely in front, her back to us, and she seemed pretty engross in the play actually...
"Why the hell wasn't I informed earlier that you and running back were getting it on?" I read on the paper.
I scowled mentally.
"We are not getting anything on. This wasn't anything and PLEASE can we NOT talk about it!" I wrote furiously to her and passed the paper.
I heard her snorted when she read it and then she passed the note to Alex who was sitting in front of her.
Oh perfect, this was getting into a group conversation!
Alex obviously read it and then wrote something and passed it back to me.
"Something is obviously going on! And you are going to spill sister" he had written.
I sighed and then proceeded to scribble all over the sheet so the words you be unreadable and then tore the sheet in hundreds of tiny pieces.
I was NOT making this into a group conversation. I was already having a hard time sorting thing s through my mind; I wasn't going to add more people into the madhouse!
Few minutes later though, Daph was throwing another piece of paper on my desk.
"You know I have a lot of paper. And we need to talk about this. Plus sexy running boy is been staring intently at you ever since you two went all smooch mode"
The second I read her words, my head snapped to the right, to where Blake was sitting, mentally smacking myself for it.
And of course Blake wasn't looking my way. He was actually writing in his notebook like a really serious student, not giving a care about me.
The kiss meaning nothing, one. The other option, zero.
I repeated the same procedure as with the other sheet and gave another glare to Daph who just smiled angelically.
I started intently at my desk all through the class, while two other teams did their parts, not listening at all and ignoring Daph and Alex's constant stare, because I did allowed myself to look their way.
I didn't look at Blake... but in the end decided that I would at least ask him what the frack had he been thinking. I mean that didn't mean anything asking this right? It wouldn't mean "I would really want it to have meant something" or "Dude, gross, why did you kiss me you asshole? I didn't and don't ever want to go anywhere near your mouth!"
"What the hell?" was a safe territory right?
When the bell rang, I got up on my feet immediately and finally looked Blake's way.
He looked back at me, not smiling or smirking or frowning or glaring. He looked... just normal, peaceful maybe I didn't know, it wasn't an expression I had ever seen on his face.
What now?
But at least he was looking at me, and not ignoring me, like I thought he could have.
"Listen I'm-" Blake started to say, surprising me by talking first, but was automatically cut by the teacher's voice telling us to come see her. Both of us.
What now?
"I hope you both know that the little stunt earlier will definitely not give you more points, we don't encourage public display like this and it was completely inappropriate" she started to ramble, sitting at her desk, her eyes on her notes actually, writing something down.
"But Miss, in the play, around that moment Hernani was supposed to hold Dona Sol in his arms, okay they don't kiss until the end of the second act but still!" Blake told her.
Huh?
She raised her eyes to look at Blake "You've made your research, that's a good thing. But I just don't want other students to think that they'll get more points if they make out in front of the class. Have I made myself clear?"
"Yes Miss, don't worry, it was just to make the play more credible and follow through it" Blake answered and I slowly started to sulk down some more.
"As long as it was only for the play..." she said.
"Of course Miss" Blake nodded.
Yes, it meant nothing. Happy now Lexi?
No not happy at all actually. I felt like crying to be truthful.
"Alright you kids can go now" she said and lowered her eyes back to her notes.
We both walked out of the class together while all I wanted was to run, go as far away as I could for him.
Blake had kissed me but it didn't mean anything.
"Hey Lexi wait up I-" Blake yelled after me, while I had rushed to get away.
But of course his voice stopped me and I turned around, because I was getting hopeless that way.
I turned around to see Blake being interrupted by no one else than the track team girl, Emily that was her name, calling for him and skipping over.
This is not happening right now, right?
"Hey, want me to wait for you or I can start running alone?" she asked him when she caught up.
I was just standing there, Blake still looking at me, standing in front of me, but then he turned his head and I didn't even want to hear his answer I didn't even want to know what he would tell her.
I had known this. Blake didn't like me. Blake was that way, the way he acted with me, with other people. That Emily girl was probably convinced that he liked her or something, and maybe he did. Maybe he liked some girl and just wanted to be friends with me.
Why couldn't I just be friends with him now? When did being friends stopped being enough?
Barely a few weeks ago, I didn't even want to talk to him!
"Lexi wait!" Blake screamed again, and then ran after me, grabbing my arm and turning me around to face me "Look what happened in-"
I stopped him "Don't worry Blake, you don't need to say or explain anything, I completely understand why you did it, you wanted to follow through the play, which is great so ya, seriously don't worry about anything. Don't need to make a big thing out of it, I know I don't"
Lie.
Lie, lie, LIE!
Blake started at me, frowning a little, and then slowly let go of my arm, backing away and I didn't let him say anything more because I couldn't listen to him say that yes of course that kiss meant nothing because that kiss at meant everything to me, that kiss had been so much more then everything and it couldn't mean nothing and I didn't want it to mean nothing and I just rushed to my car and when I finally closed my door and drove away, I burst into tears.