Alright, so this is it, the epilogue. I can’t believe this story is finally coming to an end… it’s crazy…
PLEASE, read until the end, however mad you are or whatever. Trust me, you’ll be MUCH happier if you read till the end, okay?
Also, please read the author note at the end that explains what to expect next for spin-off and sequels alright? Because I won’t be answering questions about it in the future. The answers are there.
Oh and also, sorry for making you guys wait that long, I didn’t mean to but because of Irene, well electricity was dead (I uploaded chapter 87 at my moms, yes I actually went to my mother to upload this chapter for you guys, how pathetic? ;P) and when it finally came back at my house, internet was dead so ya… I was supposed to put the epilogue up sooner… it’s all stinking Irene’s fault! 0_0
Now, you can enjoy! :D
I’ve been waiting a while to finally post this one! lol
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I could feel the sun, streaming through the French doors, warming my cheek. But I kept my eyes close, not wanting to get out of bed just yet.
I rolled around on the bed, my hand reaching beside me but they fell on empty sheets.
Of course they did…
I rolled again and held the blankets tightly, trying to find sleep but unable to because of the damn sun.
So instead I sat in the middle of the bed, holding my head in my hands.
I sighed heavily and then turned my head in my palms, my eyes falling on the letter lying on my drawing desk.
I got up from my bed and took it and then cradled back in my sheets and read it again, for about the hundredth time…
Dear Pumpkin,
If you’re reading this, well it really sucks to say the least… I know I promised you I wouldn’t die, but I guess I can’t control everything, can I? And I know it’s creepy and why did I wrote you this letter if I told you I wasn’t going to die, did I lie to you, how the hell did I know I’d die… (you’re already over thinking by now, I know it Pumpkin) well I guess after you lose someone so fast, like I did with Jay, you become aware of things like that… and ever since, I write letters, will if you will…
And well, with my head condition, I guess I always have to be ready for the worse. And I’m not going to lie, it scares me. I know I don’t talk about it with you that much but it’s because I’m scared that if I said it out loud it’ll happen, if I ignore it, if I don’t put it out there it’s like it doesn’t exist you know?
But hey, for all I know I might have been crushed by a concrete wall, so no point in worrying right?
So as I said, I write these letters… but this is the hardest one I ever had to write, because what if I do die?
I’m not scared for me; honestly not at all, death never scared me. I’m just scared for you. I think it’s safe to say you love me Pumpkin. And I know what death does to the ones that stay…
So please, don’t destroy yourself over this. Everyone dies at one point. I guess my time had come, that’s all.
I just want you to remember that I love you more than anything. I always had, I always will, what ever happens afterwards, if there was anyway I could be with you I would be, you can trust me on that.
I waited too long to finally have you.
Trust me, if there was a way, I’d be with you right now…
Wouldn’t it be cool if I came back as a ghost? I mean you gotta admit it Pumpkin, that’d be awesome! Tell Josh if I am, he’ll believe you!
I’ll come for you! I promise.
Look at the stars, go swim in the Creek, sleep in my bed, our bed, read my books, I’m there… I’m everywhere…
And I love you.
No one’s ever made me as happy as you…
I don’t know if I’ve told you this by now, honestly Pumpkin, I feel like you’re my reason for everything. You’re the reason why I wasn’t the one in that car, why I didn’t die instead of Jay. For years I’ve wished for things to switch, to have been the one dying instead of him, because people needed him more than they needed me, loved him more than they loved me. Even with my head, I was doomed from the start. And if it hadn’t been for the accident I’d probably have died sooner. But luckily, because of you they found it. And because of you I stayed alive. And now I’ve had you… Because of you Pumpkin I stopped feeling this way. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I knew I made you happier, made you forget about your problems… and for that, because being with you made you happy again, that was a good reason enough to be alive, and not have died in the car. Because my Lexi needed someone to make her laugh, and for some strange twisted reason I did…
And you can’t even imagine how happy that made me…
You made me happy Lexi.
For years I’ve tried to cope with my brother’s death. I thought I could patch myself by being with Kendal, I tried drinking, I tried being a jerk and stop feeling but it never worked because what I really needed, what I always needed was you Pumpkin.
And now, I’ve finally forgiven myself. All because of you.
So even if I’m dead now, it doesn’t matter for me anymore, because I’ve been happier with you for these past few months than in all my life.
And I’m so sorry… Sorry for not being here right now, for not holding you in my arms and telling you stupid things to make you laugh.
I can say stupid things if you want to.
I’m sure you’ll be laughing through your tears, wiped them away Pumpkin, don’t cry, you’ll work things out, you always do.
So stupid things… That’s a tough one…
Well if the reincarnation thing is true, I hope I won’t reincarnate as Alex’s asshole and I don’t need to explain myself now, do I? I’d like to reincarnate as a griffin! Those things are AWESOME! Come on! Admit it’d be cool if your reincarnate boyfriend was a mystical creature!
I could be a unicorn too… you know… once a long hard one, always is… (I’m winking right now, just go with it)
And yes I know I’m an asshole (not Alex’s) and that that’s no way to treat my mourning girlfriend/love of my life (can I write wife too? Because I would have married you! There’s no question about it… I’m sorry if that makes you sad, but it’s true… And you would have been the mother of my children too, and you’d been a perfect one at it! You might still be one, because you CAN move on Pumpkin, you HAVE to move on. Well not if I’m a ghost and I’m still hanging around… or your personal unicorn (I’m winking again)) so yes… me, asshole, blah blah blah… Give it to me Pumpkin, I’m sure you didn’t expect to get a letter like this? I should get extra point for that oh and by the way, I hope you’re wearing the sexy French maid outfit while reading this, it would make my wandering soul very VERY happy!
I hope you’re laughing a little now, and please don’t be mad, and don’t tear this letter because you’ll regret it when you’re done with that stage of mourning. Because one morning my love, you’ll wake up, and even though things are still the same, even though I’m not here anymore, you’ll get out of bed, and be able to face your day without thinking about it, and maybe even find happiness somewhere else…
I just want you to be happy, that’s what I always wanted, even if that means with someone else, even if that means you have to forget about me in order to do so.
Just be happy my Lexi, your pretty face wasn’t meant for sadness, your beautiful smiles can’t disappear and I need to hear that contagious laugh of yours whether I’m up up in the sky or down down in Hell, or just a rotting corpse under earth.
I needed you Lexi, but you don’t need me. You’re a strong girl, and do not deny it, you are!
You’re my strong girl and I love you for that, I love you so much, I love you so much that sometimes when I’m holding you in my arms it feels like there’s never going to be a way I’m going to be able to show you just how much I love you, to share it with you, like I could squeezed you so tightly you’d probably choke, and still that wouldn’t be enough.
No one can ever get enough of you Lexi…
God I love you Pumpkin… I love you, I love you, I love you.
With all my heart and all my soul.
And even death can’t stop that…
And there’s so much things I would love to say, so much things I would want to tell you… But as always I don’t find the words because the words become meaningless, they don’t matter in the end what matters is that I love you.
I love you my beautiful overreacting, unobservant, imaginative, sexy, with just the most perfect thin little waist that I’m mad about, hilarious, smart, Pumpkin.
You’re my Lexi.
And I’m your Blake.
For ever and always.
With all the love that the Universe can contain
Your jerky smirking dumbass who’s madly in love with you
Blake
PS: Remember that time you kept jumping around me, wearing that it’s-definitely-see-though shirt I always teased you about while I was sitting at your new drawing desk and you kept asking again and again what I was doing and what I was writing? Yes, well now you know what I was writing. Also, in a few seconds I will throw you on our bed and make love to you. Just a heads up.
Slowly, I wiped the tears off my cheeks and held the letter against my chest, cradling it to me, and then lay back in my bed and waited for the sleep to finally come.
When dream land seemed at my reach, freezing hands encircled my waist.
“OH MY GOD,” I yelled trying to get away from the cold hands and chest and feet that were pressing against me.
All I got was a chuckle.
“Get away! You’re freezing!” I laughed.
“Well you should be warming me up for once,” he answered and pressed his nose in the crease of my neck making me squeal.
“How’d you get so cold,” I asked him and started to rub his arms around my waist.
“I went running outside,” he mumbled against my skin.
“But it’s sunny,” I whined.
“Yeah, but it’s pretty darn windy, it’ll probably rain soon,” he answered and kissed my shoulder, his arms encircling my waist. His hands touched the paper in mine. “You reading that letter again,” he groaned.
I turned around and kissed him on the lips, my arms wrapping around his neck.
“Yes I’m reading that letter again…” I half smiled.
“Sometimes I really think you like to make yourself cry on purpose, Pumpkin!” Blake chuckled and smirked a little.
“It’s a beautiful letter alright, I love it! And I’m going to read it as much as I want!” I told him, pressing my nose lightly to his.
“I never should have left it on my table, you sneaky little thief,” he chuckled again, and squeezed me tighter against his chest. “Only got it out because I have to re-write it, since it’s not up to date anymore!”
“You lazy boy! It hasn’t been up to date for years now!” I chuckled too and nibbled his lower lip with my own.
That was all Blake needed to go all frantic and then he was slipping his hands under my shirt trying to tear it away from me.
“No, no, Blake, stop it,” I told him, but my voice was pretty weak.
“You’re gonna have to try harder,” Blake whispered against my lips and crushed his body over mine.
“Blake, it’s Saturday morning,” I tried to say but his hands were getting more and more urgent and were making it hard for me to argue.
“I don’t care if it’s Judgement Day, I’m going to…”
Blake didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because we heard running footsteps in the hallway, coming to our room.
I smirked at Blake who fell back beside me, his arm over his face.
“I hate Saturday mornings,” Blake mumbled when our door burst open.
“Mommy! Daddy! Come on! Let’s go! The cartoons are on,” our little three years old ball of energy yelled, rushing to us and started to jump up and down on our bed.
I laughed and grabbed him around the waist, tickling him and ruffling his brown hair.
“Daddy, daddy, save me,” Jayden yelled, laughing.
“You’re on your own buddy,” Blake answered smiling and as always I almost choked with emotion with the way he was looking at our son. There was so much adoration in his eyes; if it was even possible, it made me love him even more.
“Daddy,” Jayden laughed and then Blake took him out of my arms and started to tickle him too.
“Mommy!”
“You gotta pick a team kid,” Blake smirked tickling more.
I took hold of our son, and cradled him away from his father before he suffocated him. “You know better than to trust your father for those things,” I said shaking my head, and kissed the top of his hair.
Jayden tried to wiggle out of my arms. Oh yes, right, he didn’t want me to kiss him like that anymore because apparently he was old now. Why did he have to grow so fast?
“Mommy, let go, I want to watch cartoons,” he whined.
I laughed but I did, though I kissed the top of his head again, just for good measure.
Jayden hopped off our bed and grabbed Blake’s hand trying pulling it. “Daddy, come on!”
“You go ahead; your mother and I have some serious matters to talk about.”
“You can kiss mommy later, but we can’t watch the cartoons later! It’s right now,” Jay whined again, never stopping to pull his father’s hand.
I smirked at Blake, while he just narrowed his eyes at me, but still got out of bed and grabbed Jayden around the waist, swinging him over his shoulders, while I could hear our kid squeal all the way down to the living room.
Now smiling, I put the letter back on my drawing table and put on one of Blake’s old college hoodie, making my way down to the kitchen.
Aside from the television in the living room, our house was quiet and I tried to enjoy as much as I could our last few hours of peace before the company arrived. My parents and Blake’s were coming over, so were Tyler, Vanessa and their daughter, Josh, Daph and their son, and if their daughter Maika wasn’t sick anymore Alex and Travis were suppose to drop by too. Those two were so protective of the poor child, I almost felt bad for her. But I kind of understood, after all the paper work they had to go through, all the traveling they had to do and all the time they had to wait to finally be able to adopt her, it was normal for them to cherish her so much.
Everyone was basically coming over for Jayden’s birthday. It had been on Wednesday, but everyone was only free to come on Saturday so the party would be today.
I kind of dreaded the whole planning but I knew Jayden would be happy to see everyone, and get a big cake and plenty of presents. Annabelle had already sent him a huge teddy bear she had bought at the Universal Studio in Tokyo. She was staying there with one of her new boyfriend.
In the kitchen I started coffee and grabbed an apple, walking to the living room.
When I got to it, I didn’t walk in; I just leaned against the arch at the entry and smiled contently, looking at my men.
Or boys would have been more fitting.
They were both sitting on the ground, almost right in front of the television, side by side, and now and then, Jayden would push Blake and then Blake would shove Jay just a bit.
Blake always acted just like a three year old and not a twenty five year old around him.
But I wasn’t complaining at all. In my mind, I was only always eternally grateful to just have both of them in my life. To even be here with them.
After Blake’s seizure, I understood the meaning of “never take anything for granted” Even though I doubt I ever took Blake for granted before that, I understood how lucky I was to still have him with me.
Yes, I almost lost him. Blake had a seizure in his bathroom, and because of the intense head pain, had fell, his head hitting the toilet seat, almost cracking his skull. By the time he got to the hospital, he had gotten into a coma.
It’s at that same time that I started to talk with my mother again.
Since she had been an excellent lawyer for many years before changing her career, she had contacts, and one of them was one of the best brain surgeons around. That day he was gone playing golf or something. My mother had been able to have him prep for surgery in the hour after Blake got at the hospital. I also had my father to thank for that because he’s the one that thought about calling her to ask.
So the surgeon did his thing, and after a few agonizing days, Blake finally woke up.
I was there when he did, and I think the only day I cried this much was when the doctor told me that I might not survive when I would give birth to my son.
Yes, because there was a reason for all those cramps I had when I had my period. There was something wrong with my uterus. Bleeding to death while giving birth was a side effect.
But there was no way in hell I wasn’t delivering my Jayden. And so even though both Blake and I were completely frightened about what might have happened, few weeks after our graduation from college, I gave birth to our boy.
I almost didn’t make it, and so did Jayden.
But in the end we both survived and now we were all together, happy and healthy.
Blake had said that to me once, that, “The best is only bought at the cost of great pain”. We had the best now, but it had cost a lot of worrying and crying.
“Jay, do you think we should tickle attack mommy for not having made breakfast yet?” Blake asked looking my way, an evil glow in his eyes.
I narrowed my eyes at him. But of course, Jayden was completely agreeing with his dad so he jumped on his feet and ran to me.
Laughing, I ran away, towards the kitchen, while I hear the little footsteps following me. But then I heard the big man running footsteps.
Oh oh.
I stood on the other side of the center counter, while Jayden and Blake waited by the other side.
“Son, let daddy handle this and when I catch her you can help with the tickling.”
Jayden laughed and agreed.
Oh damn.
Blake looked at me like he could eat me up or something. My eyes widened.
“Blake, easy there.”
“Aw Pumpkin, you know how I am on an empty stomach and deprived of my morning kisses.”
“Don’t you dare tickling me to death,” I pointed at him sternly.
Jayden just kept laughing while we bantered. That always seemed to amuse him.
And of course, I tried to run away, to hide or something, but Blake quickly caught me around the waist, dropping me to the floor, and both him and Jay started tickling me until there were tears running down my cheeks and I was begging, pleading for them to let me go.
“Please, please stop” I laughed, “I’ll make you pancakes! Chocolate pancakes!”
Blake stopped tickling, holding me down. “You think that’s a good enough bargain, son?”
“I think we could get more out of it…” Jayden trailed.
He really was his father’s son, wasn’t he?
Blake shrugged “If you say so,” and started to tickle again.
“Guys! Please stop! Chocolate pancakes and a mountain of bacon!”
“Daddy, stop! I want that!”
And so I was finally let free, but they stayed in the kitchen with me, to make sure I would go through the deal.
When they had their plates in front of them, we all went back to the living room.
They both sat on the floor again, while I curled up on the couch.
“Guys, not to close from the TV, it’s bad for your eyes” I said in a mommy tone. They both backed up a bit, and I smiled.
The first to arrive at our house were Josh, Daphnee and Cole. If there was one thing that had surprised me in my life, it was the day Daph had told me Josh and her were getting married.
Of course they had been dating for a while, but never, ever would I have figured them for the settling type not with their weird relationship. And then, one year later, Daphnee got pregnant. She actually got pregnant before me. When she gave birth to Cole I was barely five weeks in my pregnancy.
Jayden and Cole were pretty much as close to brothers as you could get. The fact that we lived less then fifteen minutes form each others helped a lot.
I went to open the door when they rang. Josh was the only one in front, Daph getting Cole out of the car, his hands full with plates and bowls filled with food. “Hey Lex,” he grinned widely.
I tried to take a few things out of his hands. “Hey Josh.”
“I was just on the phone with Catherine,” he started to say and then looked behind me, “Hey Blake,” Blake nodded, his mouth full with food, and went to grab everything out of my hands and Josh’s taking everything in the kitchen. “Yeah, I was just talking with Cath, she told me to say hi. Mark says hi too. I think you’ll be getting a present for Jayden in the mail soon.”
I smiled and took his coat. It was raining lightly outside. “Aw, they didn’t need to! How are they doing?”
“Last time I saw her, she was very pregnant,” Daph remarked, finally getting inside, balancing Cole on her hip and a plate in her other hand. She handed it to me.
“That’s what? Their fourth,” I asked incredulous and smiled at their boy. Even though he was just as mischievous as his father, Cole was a gorgeous little boy, with his green eyes and dark blond hair. He would break a ton of hearts older.
“Third,” Josh snorted.
I raised my brows in disbelief. “Wow.”
“Tell me about it,” Daph rolled her eyes. But then she narrowed them looking at her husband. “Josh Gilligan Torres, are you wearing my jeans?”
“What?” Josh frowned looking down at himself “No, of course not, those are mine.”
Daph set Cole down and he immediately ran away, towards Jayden that was waiting for him. They both ran in the kitchen.
“Josh, those are my jeans,” Daph stated again, popping her hip. “Don’t they feel tight?”
“Because they just got cleaned, duh,” Josh said, raising his hands in disbelief.
I tried not to laugh at them but it was very very hard.
“And where did you get them?”
“On the floor in our ro—aaaaah. Crap.”
“You’re changing.” There was no place for arguing in her tone.
“Meh,” Josh shrugged, “they’re comfortable.”
“You’ll stretch them with your fat ass.” She slapped it for emphasis.
He looked at her challengingly. “You don’t seem to bother when I put your thongs on”
“That’s a completely different thing.”
“And I have heard enough, thank you,” I exclaimed raising my empty hand up and headed for the kitchen, with the plate, letting the two weirdos argue together.
I walked back in the kitchen, putting the plate of food on the center counter. “Where are the two monsters,” I asked Blake who was taking the Saran warp off the bowl and plates, looking at what Josh had brought.
“They said they were going in Jay’s room.”
“Maybe I should go check…” I looked back, towards the stairs. “How much are you betting that Cole’s going to convince Jay to paint his new teddy bear another color or something?”
“That wouldn’t surprise me” Blake kissed my head “Don’t worry mommy,” he said in a teasing voice. “I’ll go check on them, you stay here, Anyway, I’m useless in the kitchen.”
“Completely agreeing with you here,” Josh said, walking in the kitchen “Get out of here, your presence only is bad mojo,” He whooshed Blake away.
Blake just smiled shaking his head, but did give him one of those manly, slap-on-the-back hugs before getting out.
“Hey, as far as I know, I’m the one in charge in this kitchen,” I argued, pointing at Josh.
“Aw, it’s so cute that you still have illusions at your age,” he grinned at me.
I snorted. “Says the man wearing his wife’s jeans.”
Josh made an “I dismiss this matter” hand move. “Please, that’s a completely normal misunderstanding.”
“Blake would never fit in my jeans,” I smirked.
“Because Blake has a fat ass.”
“Perfect ass actually,” I corrected.
“Please look at this?” Josh turned around, popping his butt out pointing at it. “This is perfect ass.”
Daph grabbed it. “Babe, stop talking about your ass otherwise I’ll have to drag it in a dark corner.”
“Kinky, I like it!”
I groaned. “None of that in my kitchen you two!”
“Are you saying that you don’t encourage people that express their love,” Daph asked, in a voice that just made her sound so much like a hippie, her hand still on Josh’s butt.
I wanted to argue more but I heard a knock at the front door and Blake was still upstairs with the boys.
“Not if they do it on my kitchen floor…” I answered, walking away from them, “or against my fridge, or on top of my counter!” I continued while walking to the door.
I could hear them laugh.
“Hello sis,” Tyler grinned when I opened the door and I automatically hugged him, smiling.
And then I moved on to Vanessa who was holding Nikki in her arms, their little one year old who had inherited her mother’s perfect curly blond-almost white hair and her father’s brown eyes. She looked like a little doll in her pink dress.
I smiled at the kid and Vanessa smiled at me, giving her to me so I could hold her.
“Did you miss your aunty” I asked Nikki, who was rubbing her eyes with her little fist, yawning.
“She just woke up; she slept during the car drive.” Vanessa explained and hugged me on the side that wasn’t holding her daughter.
“She grew since I last saw her.” I pouted a bit.
Tyler and Vanessa were living about an hour away from us, so Vanessa could be close to the school where she taught how to sing and so Tyler could be close to our father’s business. He was actually going to run it on his own once dad would finally decide to retire already!
So we didn’t see them as often as per se, Josh and Daph.
Nevertheless I did seem them more often then Annabelle, which was a good thing. My relationship with my sister was definitely different from the one I had with her a few years back—I was blaming maturity on that one—but still, I liked my little brother more, even if favourites weren’t a good thing in families.
So everyone headed to the kitchen, Blake joining us shortly after, and with the face he was making—slightly amused but a bit angry too—I knew he had probably stopped a catastrophe from happening with the two monsters.
Soon, Blake’s parents and mine arrived, and people were settling in the dinning room now, playfully arguing about where they wanted to sit.
As always, I was a little worried about having my mother and father together, in the same room, in the same house, but I reminded myself that there was no reason to.
My mother and father weren’t back together, far from it, but at least they were on better terms. I know my mom had apologized to him. After she had broken up with her “teenager boyfriend” as Blake had once put it, she had gone to therapy, realizing she had issues and one of the things she realized was how wrong she had treated my father. It didn’t excuse what she had done, but I know my father felt better about it. I knew they would never get back together, but what they had was still there. They had been married for many years and had children together. Whether they liked it or not, that left a bound.
It was almost six o’clock now and I whooshed everyone out of the kitchen, Blake lingering there with me, to help me bring the last plates with food in the dinning room.
“Weren’t Alex and Travis supposed to come over,” he asked me, while I rummaged through our cupboards looking for my thingy in a shape of and apple that I put under warm pots.
I turned around to look at my husband. When he wore those faded blue jeans and that dark blue v-neck t-shirt, his eyes glowing, his hair looking like he had just gone out of bed, but in a really sexy way, and that all our invitees were in the other room, it was hard to not just take him on the kitchen floor. “Well I think Maika was starting a fever so Alex wanted to stay home,” I answered, clearing my throat and with the way Blake smirked and lifted one eyebrow I knew he knew exactly what I was thinking.
I half smiled.
Blake walked towards me, his face stopping only inches from mine, his warm breathe washing over my lips. He leaned towards the cupboards, never taking his eyes off of me, still undeniably close, but then reached out and handed me the apple shape thingy I had been looking everywhere for.
My husband gave me a quick peck on the lips, his eyes going once towards the dinning room door, silently telling me what I already knew “we have company, it would be rude, but just so you know I am totally undressing you in my mind right now and taking you against our counter.”
Blake backed off and went back to putting the mash potatoes from the pot to a bowl. “Please, it’s summer, she’s not getting sick,” he started to say. What was he talking about? Oh yes, right Alex… “Travis probably took her out for too long. I’m telling you that boy is the definition of overprotective!”
I laughed. “Well, tell him, not me.”
“Oh I already tell him all the time,” Blake said, his voice getting lower and lower with each words, taking a few steps back towards me, placing his hands on my hips, bringing me to him, his lips trailing against my temple.
With the way he was kissing, I knew exactly what he was thinking. “Let’s kick everyone out right now.” And I wanted to, Jayden’s birthday or not.
God, why did he have to be so stinking irresistible? I took all my self control to not just push him against the fridge or slip a hand down his pants. My god, I was a married, twenty five years old with a three year old son and with another… and shouldn’t the attraction have died down somehow? Wasn’t that what always happened between married couples? They loved each other passionately the first few years and then it died down to a love that was just as powerful but just a bit less intense.
Okay, I didn’t want that, I loved, adored how much Blake and I loved each other but sometimes, like right now, I just had this ache in my chest, like if I didn’t get as close to him as I could I might die. That wasn’t right, right?
“Want me to call? Know what’s going on,” I answered softly, my eyes closing, my hands slipping under his shirt, curling around his back.
I suddenly wanted to cry, trying to push the dark thoughts away, repeating in my head that I promise to myself that I wouldn’t think about it, not today, not during Jayden’s day but the dark thoughts lurked around, and I wanted Blake right now, I needed him, I needed to be in the comfort of his arm, where I felt safe and loved and at home.
We were both silent for a few second, Blake lips still pressed against my temple, my hand not moving from his back and then Blake took a deep breathe and backed away, very, very reluctantly. “No, I’ll do it.”
I shook my head in discouragement while Blake’s smirk returned to his face as he grabbed the phone by the toaster.
“Hey Alex? You guys coming over…” I finished rounding up the last vegetables, and I could hear conversations in the next room, Josh obviously saying something stupid, yet again. “That’s not fever Alex, that’s called being hot because of the weather… You are such a girl sometimes,” Blake rubbed his temple while he listened to the answer, “Oh please, now you’re seriously being melodramatic! You have to come over, because for one thing, Maika’s not sick, and on the other side, you really want to leave me all alone here, with Josh and Daph making out on our dinning table?” Blake almost grinned in victory and I internally thought he should have said, ‘you really want to leave our guest alone while me and Lexi run up to our room and lock ourselves there for the couple of weeks’ “Now that’s better… Alright, bye.”
Blake grinned at me. “That was easy!”
I took the phone and placed it back on its holder, shaking my head at him, shaking my head at the dark thoughts. Think about it later, you’ll deal with it later, not now.
Blake and Alex’s friendship was one I certainly hadn’t anticipated. While Josh and Blake were like brothers and as close as you could find, while we were in college, Alex was at the same as ours and the two had classes together, and ended up hanging out together a lot. After the whole “Blake punching Alex in the face because he had gone out with me even though he knew he was gay” thing I had pretty much made a cross over their friendship. But for some strange reason, or maybe because Blake knew Alex was not competition anymore, they became friends again. And good friends at it. Heck, Blake had been Alex’s best man at his wedding.
Shaking off the effect my husband had on me; I grabbed the last two bowls, Blake following me and joined our guest in the dinning room. As strong as I felt for Blake, there was one person in this world that I put before him and that was our son and so we would wait, like the responsible adults we were.
The dinner went well; especially considering half of the food was made by Josh. I was happy to have my little family there. Alex, Travis and Maika joined us shortly after Blake’s call; they lived pretty close by too.
I found myself, staring contently at the people sitting around me. This was what I had been hoping to have; this was what I always had wanted to have with Blake. We had our family, we had our warm house and we had a son, our Jayden who I loved so much I couldn’t even find words to express it. I loved Blake with all my heart but it was different with Jayden, for Jayden I had another heart, one fully for him.
He was growing so fast, my little man.
Three years old already.
After dinner he happily blew the candles on his cake, and ate a big piece of it, fast, because he wanted his presents, fast.
He went through his presents, while I could tell Cole was calculating on his seat, deciding on what they would do with those new things, what bad thing they could do. You couldn’t really expect any less form Daphnee Harrison and Josh Torres’ son though.
Jay got books, and more material to paint, key that went with the small four wheeler that was waiting for him outside—my father smiled proudly at that one—a small telescope, cans of spray paint and paper bags with an evident ‘to put the crap on fire in’ written on one—I glared at Josh for that one.
When it was time to open his present from Blake’s parents I took a deep breathe.
When we got married they had bought us a car. When I got pregnant with Jay they had set up a trust fund for him—as far as I know the funds in it at this date exceed a hundred thousand dollars. When we bought the house, they had bought us a grand piano; it’s a good thing we had the space.
I was always a little worried whenever they bought presents…
And sure thing, they had bought him an iPod and an iPad with the max memory they could have, already filled with music by grand compositors. I could see my son eyes twinkling with joy over this.
The last present Jayden opened was from Blake and I… piece of papers in an envelop.
At first he made a face at us but Jayden knowledge was enough to understand what those piece of papers meant. “We’re going to Disney World,” he almost squealed.
I smiled broadly. “Yes.”
“Is Cole coming too?”
“Yes and Aunty Daph and your fairy godmother Josh,” Blake answered, wrapping his arm lightly around my waist but the simple contact didn’t go unnoticed.
God, I loved him…
“When,” Jay asked glee in his dark blue eyes.
“In three weeks,” I replied.
“But mommy, that’s so long.”
“No whining Jayden Eaton, patience is a virtue,” I smiled at him teasingly.
I shouldn’t be saying things like that to a three year old, though, right? And he shouldn’t understand what I was saying?
Sometimes, I worried about our son, no in a bad way… but he knew too much things, he was too… mature? Yes that was the word, too mature for his age. Sometimes… he wasn’t a kid enough. Sometimes, he was exactly like his father.
The evening quickly came to an end, and then it was time to clean up. Our friends and family left, kissing and telling we’d see each other soon, kids in arms, smile on faces.
When I got back from locking the front door, Blake and Jayden were sitting at the counter, Blake speaking in French with him. Jayden was frowning, concentrating, obviously racking his brain to find the right answer. I smiled at the sight, knowing exactly just how frustrating that could be.
Blake went to put Jay to bed while I started to clean up the pans in the sink.
Jayden was going to bed now, but soon, too soon he would wake up. I knew it. That kid was exactly like his father. He never slept. He would wake up and he would take his new iPod, and he would listen to the music on it and read look through his books.
After giving birth to him, and almost dying I had been very, very tired and pretty much useless. Blake had to be the one to take care of him at nights. But with the way their schedule seemed to fit perfectly, even when I got better, Blake kept waking up to take care of him. Some nights even now I knew that Blake woke up and went to see his son. And then they would talk together, he would read him books, teach him how to play the piano, help him with a painting. Those two were so close; sometimes I was a tiny bit jealous.
When Blake finally came back downstairs, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, kissing my shoulder.
I sighed contently. And then I half smiled a bit. “Desfois j’aimerais que notre fils ne soit pas la copie conforme de son père.”
“Mens pas, t’adores ça,” Blakr groaned and bit my neck softly.
“J’adore moins ça quand tu lui apprends le français. Comment est-ce qu’on va pouvoir parler dans son dos maintenant,” I answered teasingly and wrapped my arms around his, leaning my back against him.
“We still got Spanish or German,” Blake stated, suddenly turning me around, pressing his lips, hard against mine, his arms curling around my thighs, pulling me up, as I wrapped my legs around him, my hands at his neck now, my fingers curling in his hair.
Should I tell him now…
The dark thought were like a slap in the face…
I stopped kissing him, now sitting on the counter, pulling Blake’s face back, softly running my hair in his silky hair. “My German is awful and you know it.”
Blake smirked. But then he frowned. “Are you alright?”
I kissed Blake’s arm. “I’m actually feeling a little woozy, you mind if I let you finish this” I pointed towards the dishes in the sink with my chin, “and go walk outside for a little bit?”
I hoped off the counter, distancing myself from Blake.
“No, not at all, go ahead Pumpkin. Need anything at all,” he looked worried.
I smiled. “No, fresh air should do it.”
I headed for the patio door in the back of the house, and stepped out. I walked around our backyard, in the little trail we had done with rocks that lead to Blake’s painting shack.
I raised my head to the night sky, breathing in deeply.
I wrapped my arms around myself. Everything would be alright.
I walked all the way to Blake’s shack and did the lock combo, walking in.
I switched the light on and smiled at the familiar setting. There was something so right about being in here. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the first time Blake and I ever made love was in his painting shack back at his house. I had shivers just remembering it.
I sighed and closed the door behind me.
I didn’t know how I was going to tell him…
I walked around in his shack, trailing my fingers over the painting brushes, smiling a little at all the memories they held.
“Pumpkin, please, is everything alright?” Blake asked, surprising me—I hadn’t heard him walk in—and I turned around, smiling at his frowning face, standing by the entry.
“Yes… everything’s perfect…”
He walked up to me, placing both hands on each side of my waist. “Don’t lie to me…”
“I’m not lying, everything really is perfect…” I still smiled, brushing my fingers to the hair behind his ear.
How am I going to tell him… I can’t tell him…
“Lexi…”
The way he said my name, it was filled with pain…
I pressed my palm on his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning into it “What are you thinking Blake?”
He opened them, staring straight into my eyes and took a deep breathe. “I know something is wrong Lexi and I want to know why you aren’t telling me.”
I took a deep breathe too. “I don’t want to hurt you…” I whispered. I didn’t want him to hear it but he did.
“Who?”
I frowned. “What?”
“Who did you cheat on me with?”
And that did it, I burst laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Well…” He didn’t continued but just with his expression I realized he was serious. How could he even think that?
“Blake seriously how could I get anyone better than you?” I trailed my hand on his chest, “all of you,” I trailed a little downward.
Blake sighed again. “I don’t know, I don’t always understand you, you know.”
I snorted at that. “That table center is BEAUTIFUL Blake!”
He shook his head. “Atrocious is the word you’re looking for.”
I glared. “It’s contemporary.”
“It’s cunttampondiarea”
I grinned but slapped his chest playfully. “Smartass.”
He smiled too and caught my hand in his. He looked down. “Who?”
I repress the urge to roll my eyes. “Blake, you are aware that I still sometimes just look at you from across a room and I think about the dirty things I want to do to you right?” That got his attention. His eyes snapped back up. “And I have a hard time controlling myself but you’re talking with important people and doing you in a bathroom stall might be wrong considering we’re not teenagers anymore.”
Knowing my husband, I knew his hands were hitching to just slide under my shirt. Silly man.
“That’s not helping us in the progressing deal,” he remarked, his voice a little huskier than usual.
I ignored that comment and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding his face closer to mine. “I will never cheat on you Blake. I’d rather die than be with anyone else.”
I could taste his breathe on my lips. “I like the sound of that.” I smiled. “What is it?”
I sighed, looking down.
I have to tell him…
I looked up, smiled at him and then took his hand kissed the palm and pressed it on my stomach.
Blake’s eyes automatically widen. “Oh shit! That’s why your boobs got bigger!”
“Yes.”
“Oh my god… Lexi…” and then he wrapped his arm around me in a deadlock, hid his face in the crook of my neck and started to cry.
Well I didn’t expect anything less.
“Everything will be alright” I whispered in a soothing voice, rubbing his back in circles fighting the tears myself.
And he just kept crying and clinging to me like I was already dying.
“It would have been better if you had said you had cheated…”
I kept rubbing his back. “You know that’s not true.”
“I’m so sorry Lexi… I’m so sorry…” he repeated.
“Aww come on! I’ll be fine. I can feel it.”
“I can’t lose you… I just can’t…”
I took a hold of his face and leaned it back so he would look at me in the eyes. “You won’t.”
“You know what the doctors said!”
“They also said I wouldn’t live to know my son and as far as I know I just argued with Josh an hour ago about not teaching Jay how to set bags of crap on fire. He’s still too young, give me another year before you corrupt him thoroughly.”
“Don’t make jokes. It’s not funny,” Blake whispered.
“Blake…” I shook my head just a little, “don’t take this so badly.”
“But I did this… it’s my fault and now you’re going to be sick, you…” I pressed my fingers against his lips to stop him from talking.
“Blake, this is not a bad thing, this is a GOOD thing. And from what I know you have to be two to make a baby.” I smiled a little at that.
“I’m getting a vasectomy.”
“You’re NOT! I want more mini-Blake around this house. Jay and the little munchkin here” I caressed my stomach when I said it, “will get lonely. And I want a whole football team.”
“We already have plenty of friends with kids around. Let Daph and Josh procreate. That’s all they do all day anyway!”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m scared to death actually,” Blake answered back, and I could see it, the fear in his eyes. I hated to see it.
I sighed and kissed his lips, almost roughly. “I love you Blake.”
Blake had his eyes still closed, our forehead touching when he answered. “I love you more”
“No, I love you more. Wanna know why?”
Blake opened his eyes. “Why?”
“Because your first reaction wasn’t to ask me to get an abortion.”
“We already talked about this before, you know I could never live with myself if I asked you that, if we did that… I could never kill one of our children… even…” He closed his eyes again.
“Even if it kills me?”
And Blake hid his face in my neck and started to cry silently again, kissing, almost eating the skin there.
“If you want more kids let’s just freeze some soldiers and grow them in tubes.”
“I thought you like the old fashion way better,” I tried to tease him.
“I love the old fashion way… as long as it doesn’t include you bleeding to death.
We’re too happy Lexi. Everything is too perfect. It’s time for us to pay.”
“Blake” I took his hand and pressed it on my stomach again. “Right here is our child. It’s a blessing. You lost your brother, you almost died, I almost died, our son almost died. We are happy because we deserve it. And things will be okay because we’ll make them okay.”
We just stared at each other for endless minutes, taking everything in. We could deal with this. We already had. And I had a good feeling about this baby. Everything would be alright…
Blake finally sighed. “You better give me a little girl.”
I smiled. “No way, I want two mini versions of you running around the house.”
“No no!” He shook his head. “You have your mini-Blake. I want my mini-Lexi now!”
I raised my eyebrows. “You need two unobserving girls hanging around?”
“I’ll make my daughter observing unlike her mother.” His hands trailed down my back and rested on my butt. “I’ll teach her how to know when a little boy has fallen head over heels for her. And then I’ll teach her that if she ever brings that boy home I will skin him.”
I shook my head in disbelief but smiled nevertheless. “If we have another boy we could call him Victor.”
It was Blake’s turn to shake his head. “It’ll be a girl and we’ll call her something cool!”
I chuckled. “It’s going to be a boy.”
“But I want a little girl,” he pouted.
“You can’t always get what you want Sugar-Boy.”
“If I said I wanted you in the French maid outfit right now could I get that?”
We both stared at each other, and I could also see the spark going on between the two of us.
“Maybe…” I trailed “we haven’t gotten it out in a while… it might be a little tight with all the extra boobs”
Blake smirked. “That’s what I’m hoping for…”
And that night, when we were finally in the comfort of our bed, before our bodies formed one, I felt Blake tears mangled with my own and I trailed my finger up his arm, my mouth beside his ear, “Everything will be alright,” I mouthed.
“How can you be so sure,” he whispered so softly, his hands warming me everywhere.
“Because you and I are meant to be together for eternity. Our story is too interesting to ever have an end,” I whispered back, kissing his chest, slipping my hands behind his back, softly dragging my nails against it.
Blake was holding my head with one hand, taking it back to his lips, and sliding his other up my torso. “And what is that story, how does it start?”
I smiled against his lips, my hand stroking the side of his neck lightly. “It all started when I sold myself to the devil for vinyls…”
“Pitiful…” Blake smirked a little and turned us around.
“I know…”
THE END
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A/N : And so the story is finally over! An era ends! lol
Told you to read it till the end. I’m mean, but I decided to not be THAT mean. (to be honest, when I started to write this story, the last chapter and this epilogue were pretty much written right away. At the very beginning, I wanted to kill Lexi, but that’s something that Blake in my head STRONGLY disagreed with. So of course, I wanted to kill Blake but È, webmaster and BFF told me that if I killed him she would end our friendship so be thankful to her, because otherwise Blake was pretty much dead! lol) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I was happy to write it. I like having those “glimpse in the future” kind of thing. I know that whenever I read a book and the characters end up together, I always love to have even just a little something to see how they actually are together, and how things go.
And that’s what I’ll be doing with this story. Now and then I’ll post little chapters of Blake and Lexi’s life in-between the epilogue and the previous chapter. So, their college life, their wedding, Blake’s proposal, Lexi’s pregnancy, etc. When I feel like it, I’ll post it. That way you guys won’t be COMPLETELY Blake deprived! ;P
ALSO, well I plan on writing a spin-off story called “Weird and Weirder” and it will be Josh and Daph’s POV. Of course, you now kind of know how it ends, but still, it should be interesting nonetheless. And there are quite a few details that you guys will enjoying knowing, details Blake and Lexi don’t even know about! ;P
And then, there will be the sequel to this story, well kind of spin-off too because it won’t be Lexi or Blake’s POV. It’s going to be Jayden/Cole/Lilibeth POV. And it will be called “The Spawns”
Now, I won’t be uploading “Weird and Weirder” and “The Spawns” right now. I’ll definitely wait a few months, because as much as you guys love all these characters and this story, my brain needs a break. That’s also why uploads on “Smirking Jerk” will be sloooooow.
Finally, I’m not deleting this story, so all the chapters will always stay here, but I WILL edit it, and put the full edited version up. And I will also put the story up on Lulu, when edited, so you guys can buy it and have a paperback copy. Now I don’t know how long the editing will take, so no whining alright? I’ll tell you in due time. But you have to understand that I’m starting University again pretty soon, and it’s a priority.
Oh and last thing, I know some of you only like my writing for Blake, but if you could give my other stories a chance it would be nice! “The Eighth Time” and “No Fighting Please” are both Teen Fiction too. And soon I’ll start to upload a new story called “The Headline” and according to some who read a few lines, it’ll be the new “I Sold…” lol
Also, well Levi in “The Chaldean Oracle” is a very yummy dude! ;P It’s fantasy but he’s kick ass and a smartass so we love him! ;P And all those stories are actually written better in my opinion. But if you don’t want to read anything don’t worry about it, I just don’t want you guys to abandon me because you don’t have enough Blake anymore *insert weeping* Anyway, you can follow the link on the side, it takes you to my Facebook page where I put previews, excerpts and all my characters’ pictures. So you can get familiar with everything.
So anyway, thanks again, for following me, for reading this story and not giving up on it even though I made you wait a lot sometimes.
Thanks for being AWE-SOME fans! :D