The Advice Column IV

670

Advice Request
This person's boyfriend's parents are not accepting of their race.

Answered Submission
Hi,

To change people's ideas or mindset about something, in this case his parents' racism towards your race, is not easy to do. So you have to stay strong and be able to withstand his parents' dislike when you guys continue your relationship.

You should tell your boyfriend that you are willing to try and stay in a relationship with him and convince his parents to accept you together as a team.

1. You can ask your boyfriend the reason that makes his parents racist towards you (your race) and by knowing the reason, maybe you guys can make a plan together to show his parents that they were wrong for thinking so of Asians.

2. Try meeting his parents or his family to show who you really are and the good side of you. This is going to be a little bit hard to accomplish but sometimes, when they have come to know you personally, they might find themselves in the wrong, or at least, be less hurtful towards you as in most cases, it is harder for someone to be abusive towards those that they know as compared to being abusive to a whole race or group without knowing anyone personally.

You have to keep in mind that it might be a slow process for them to accept you because as I've mentioned, to change someone's mindset isn't easy.

If somehow, this relationship doesn't work, it's okay to feel hurt by the break up, it's okay to be sad about it and it's okay to cry over it. But I want you to remember to pick yourself up and don't spend too much time crying over the breakup. You are still young and at the moment, the most important thing is your own self and your happiness. It is undeniable that breaking up will make you sad but you have to find the silver lining in the situation. Maybe staying together with him will only bring you more heartache than you thought as his parents might hurt you more than you think.

Life works in mysterious ways and you can never really understand why things happen the way it is but sometimes, in the future, you'll be glad that things happened the way it is. There are a lot of times that I got so heartbroken over a guy but later, I was grateful that it never worked out.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

Love,
The Advice Column Team