The Advice Column IV

782

Advice Request
This person likes someone in a relationship.

Answered Submission
Hello,
It certainly sounds like a confusing situation you're in. Never fear! As frustrating and confusing as it may be, there is a fairly simple answer.

So you like this girl, and you're unsure if she likes you, but the biggest issue here is that she's in a relationship. Because of that, I would not suggest pursuing her, or asking about her feelings for you. It is seldom a good idea to pursue a person in a relationship, and this situation falls under that rule. Like you said, you could be risking your friendship with her if she's not interested in you romantically, and even if she is, she's in a relationship with someone else. There are a handful of issues there. All in all, I think the safest bet is to remain friends, and leave it at that. That doesn't mean you have to try to "lose feelings" as you said, because that isn't necessary here. You can have a crush on someone, and still be their friend even if the crush is not reciprocated, and you said that you are "not too deep in your feelings," so there is no reason to put any extra effort into moving on from your crush. Just let it be. As time goes on, either you'll still like her, or the crush with fade off on it's own, and with crushes like this, it doesn't usually take very long for them to start to dissipate.

So to recap, my advice is to be her friend, and leave it at that. There is no need to take any sort of extra measures to move on, and you shouldn't stress over whether or not she likes you back. Either way, there are obstacles that block the way to any potential romantic relationship, and why wait for someone to end their relationship to pursue them when you can love them as their friend? That is extra stress you don't need, and extra time you could be spending in more productive or fun ways. I hope this helps, love. Come back any time should you want more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team
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