The Advice Column IV

763

Advice Request
This person feels excluded from their friend and their crush.

Answered Submission
Hey!

That sounds like a very not fun situation to be stuck in. Honestly, I believe you should confront your best friend about how you feel about this entire situation, including the fact that they text so often and embarrass you in the chats, and that you feel alienated and excluded as well. Those are your honest feelings so come out straight up to her about it. Tell her it's starting to be a little offensive that they talk about someone (you, in this case) so often behind their (your) back. You don't want them to talk about you so often, even if it's good things, so tell that to her.

But don't just tell your best friend about such things. Tell your crush too. You might think it's awkward or embarrassing to talk grumble about such a thing to your crush. But ultimately, if they are going to be your future partner, they should learn to respect and consider your feelings as well. If you feel excluded, you have a valid reason for feeling that way. Plus, this could be your chance to talk a little, take the initiative, get to know them more, maybe get closer as well.

So I encourage you to tell them both about how you feel. I'm sure they won't take offense to it since you're the one they're talking about. And if your best friend thinks you're being a little silly for thinking you're excluded, just ask her to show you the chats. Since they are your crush and you want to know them better, the chats between your best friend and crush could also help you get to know his preferences and other things. But if you want to know their actual preferences, ask them yourself. Just in case they misunderstand that your best friend is the one asking and is interested in them. So make sure you take initiatives and ask such things yourself.

It is normal to feel self-conscious and awkward in such a situation. So I'm sure talking to them both (separately of course) will clear up misunderstandings and pave the way for more time with your crush.

Good luck, I hope it all works out in your favor.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team