The Advice Column IV

781

Advice Request
This person was betrayed by someone they cared deeply for.

Answered Submission
Hello,

We are very glad to hear that you appreciate our page! That means the world to us, and it shows that we are achieving our goal to support and advise our readers to the best of our abilities. Thank you!

As for your follow up, there is only so much you can do. It sucks to know that someone you care about lied about something so personal. It hurts to feel like you've been played. And sometimes it hurts even more to be angry at someone, but still miss them. Unfortunately, there isn't an easy cure for that feeling or series of feelings. All you can really do is work through it. I suggest taking some time to sort through the feelings, and identify what they are and why you're feeling them. A little redundant maybe, but it is a great way to start understanding where you're at emotionally, and to begin processing those feelings. From there, it'll be a little easier to figure out what you need to do.
In the meantime, I would keep my distance from them. That doesn't necessarily mean ignoring them per se, but don't reach out to talk to them, and try not to hang out with them at school. You need space to heal and deal, hun. Having them near you now will not help you.

For the future, I agree with your mom and friends. They have not been a good friend to you, and have at this point severely broken your trust in them. It's probably best to go your own ways. It hurts now, but after a little while you won't feel nearly as sad as you do now. It is perfectly natural to miss someone you care for deeply even after they've hurt you. That doesn't mean it's okay to stick around and let them keep hurting you to avoid missing them. You need to be able to stand up for yourself, love, and sometimes that just means knowing when to draw the line and walk away. And yes, it'll hurt, and you'll miss them because you care, but as time goes on and you heal you'll understand that what they did was absolutely not okay, and moving on was probably the best choice.

And remember, your friends are there for you. Your mom is there for you. You have a support system of people who love you and want to help. It's okay to lean on them when you're hurting, as long as you work up the strength to stand up straight again.

I hope this helps, dear. We wish you all the best in this coming year!

Stay strong!
The Advice Column Team