The Advice Column IV

751

Advice Request
This person is scared of the changes that are going to happen as they are growing up.

Answered Submission
Hello,
Changing our mindset is a hard thing to do, especially when it's a mindset we've maintained most, if not all, of our lives. Fortunately or not, there comes a time in our life when we have to let go of that mindset, and learn to live on our own as ourselves. College is a great opportunity to learn not only academically, but about ourselves as well, and about who we wish to become as we grow. It's a growth period before "true adulthood" when we're sent into the world as fledgling grownups. As scary as it may be, I urge you to take this as an opportunity to figure out who you want to be. Not who your parents wanted you to be, or who you thought your parents wanted you to be, but who you are as an individual away from your family. Our families play a huge, important role in our development as people, and it is normal for us to want to make them proud, but you are not solely designed as a member of your family or in service to them. You are an individual. You have your own wants and dreams and goals even if you haven't realized them yet. You have a life waiting for you to discover it.

Honey, growing up is scary. Terrifying even, but it is not something we can avoid nor is it something we should try to in a way. Retain yourself, but be open to growth. Darling, I urge you to take this time to figure out who you are separately from your family. Find new things, new people. Purpose is a fickle idea, but individuality and goals are attainable things that can be reached with the right work.

My advice to you is to take a few extra steps outside your comfort zone. Trust me, I know it's scary, but I think you'll find later on to have benefited you in the long run. Check out some of the clubs or groups at your college that interest or stick out to you. Maybe look into getting a job on campus where you can interact with your peers a little more than in class. Take your classes seriously, and pay attention to your advisor's suggestions, but take as many classes that truly interest you as you can besides your cores. In those minor interests, you may find something you can grow to be passionate about. And try writing again! Sometimes, our old passions come back to us when we're ready for them. As for motivation, if it helps, for the time being use your family as motivation. Be a good student, and step outside your comfort zone one step at a time. They want you to be happy, dear, and if making them proud motivates you then use that to make yourself better as you grow into adulthood.

Darling, I know it looks really difficult and daunting now. Unfortunately that is just the phase of life you're in, but that doesn't mean it is a bad thing. This is a time to grow. A time for self discovery, and individuality. We all have to take a leap of faith sometimes. Know that you are not alone in this, and there are other people just like you struggling as well. You are not alone. You will find strength. and you will find peace in knowing who you are in time and in this stage of growth. I hope this helps, love. Feel free to reach out again if you ever want or need more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team