The Advice Column IV

612

Advice Request
This person wants to confront their boyfriend.

Answered Submission
Hello again!

I am going to be completely honest with you here; this kind of stuff makes me mad. I've dealt with a situation similar to this in the past, and so seeing it happen in other people's lives seriously irks me. Anyway, let's get into this.

Here's the deal. Your boyfriend should not be telling other girls--online or otherwise--that he is single when he is, in fact, in a relationship with you. It does not matter how long you've been together or the level of "serious" your relationship has gotten to. If you are dating someone, you stick with that person. You don't open up the conversation for other people to start things, and girl, that's exactly what he's doing. I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't really matter if he has supposedly told her he isn't interested. There are people out there who don't care if someone is single or not. If they want to initiate something, they will. Trust me, I can tell you from experience.

Honey, you need to talk to him. You have the right to know why your boyfriend is telling other girls he's single, and he has no room to complain, since, from the looks of it, he's in the wrong here. Talk to him and figure out what the deal is. If he gets mad, then maybe this is not the type of person you want to associate yourself with.

I suggest you confront him gently and allow him to explain himself, but be careful. If he starts to go off on a tangent about how he hasn't done anything and that it's all the other girl, then you know that chances are there's something more going on. That's when you need to shut him down and explain your point of view. Tell him how his actions make you feel and what the situation looks like to you.

My biggest piece of advice here is this: if he gets defensive, don't feed into it. You getting defensive in response will only make this conversation worse. You need to make sure you not only notice how he reacts, but monitor yourself as well. Keep your emotions in check, because defensive plus reactive does not make a pretty picture. I hope this helps, girl. Come back if you have anything else!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team