The Advice Column IV

733

Advice Request
This person has a tense relationship with their mother.

Answered Submission

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. That is certainly not an easy or a nice place to be, and I can only imagine how you must be feeling on a day to day basis. Unfortunately for a situation like this, there is only so much you can do. Since I can assume that there in no talking with your mother, your best bet is to move out as soon as possible. Now, that can be difficult with your age and depending on where you live, so let's go through some options. My first recommendation is to look into other family members or potentially friends. Is your father still living in the household? Do you have grandparents who would be willing to take you in? Aunts, uncles, older cousins? Anyone who you could potentially live with for a time until you can move out on your own. What about friends? Do you have any close friends who may be able to lend a couch or spare bedroom for a little bit? Couch surfing isn't exactly ideal, but you do what you have to do. If that's how you can improve your life then that's what you'll have to look into. There are also temporary houses, share houses, or other places that might be helpful but please be careful and choose somewhere safe or someone you can trust.

Now, depending on where you live, you can legally emancipate yourself from your parents or guardians at the age of 16. This means that you can separate yourself from your parent/guardian before you turn 18 so that they no longer have custody or financial obligation over you. The court can overrule this if the minor in question cannot take care of themselves, so that's important to look at. By emancipating yourself you would be out from under your mother's hold, but you would be entirely responsible for your wellbeing. That's why I suggest seeking aid from family until you can support yourself. Other than that, your only option is to wait it out until you can move out on your own at 18. That is not a perfect option, but ultimately if that's what you have to do, it's what you have to do. If that is what happens, it is important to keep yourself busy and active. There is no point spending all your time in a house with a person who makes you miserable. Hang out with friends, get a job, study outside of then house, whatever you can do to spend your time in a healthy environment away from your mother will help your mental immensely. However be careful not to mix with the wrong crowd and give yourself exposure to wrong things. Don't be afraid to confide in close friends if you need to as well. It is not good to keep things tucked away inside for too long.

I hope this helps. Don't hesitate to reach out to us again at any time!

Thank you,

The Advice Column Team