The Advice Column IV

734

Advice Request
This person has negative feelings about their mother.

Answered Submission
Hello,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It can definitely be an uncomfortable position to be in. Unfortunately though, sometimes we just don't like people. You can love a person as a member of your family, but that doesn't necessarily mean you like them too. Sometimes they just rub you the wrong way, and it's nothing they've done right or wrong that you can remember. And sometimes that person is a parent.
As we get older, we mature and begin to understand more about the world around us and our environment. We also start for form more complex opinions. The opinion we had about our family members as children can very quickly change as we age and start to see them as other people on our same level rather than adults miles above us. It's not something to feel bad about. It's just something you need to think as a process. These opinions stem from somewhere whether or not we can remember exactly why. There was something that sparked that change. I do not think it would be productive to stress and obsess over exact moments or actions that may or may not have lead to your disliking your mother on some level. In fact, more likely than not it was a combination of many different individual moments that ultimately lead to your change in opinion. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to understand it though.

Try to figure out why you don't like her on a base level. What makes it uncomfortable or unenjoyable to be around her? Why do you dislike being touched by her? What makes you dislike her on a day to day basis? From there you can start to unravel the deeper reasons as to why you don't like her very much anymore. Once you start to gain some understanding in that area I suggest you have a conversation with her about it. Tell her how you feel (probably without outwardly saying that you don't like her and instead that you don't enjoy being around her and why) and try to seek a resolution between each other. A conversation like that right now wouldn't be very productive when you can't provide any reasons yet. 

I hope this helps, love. Feel free to reach out to us again if you'd like!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team