The Advice Column IV

629

Advice request
This person wants advice on getting over a long-time crush.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I hope you're having a nice day. From my own personal experience, moving on from someone has always been a little bit tough but it's not impossible.

For me, the most important thing to have when you want to get over someone is to have the determination to really move on. Moving on is not something that you just say to your friends, 'Oh, I wanna move on from him/her' but you're not really doing anything to get over them, which is something that I was guilty of doing before.  So I think I can say that you're currently taking a correct step in trying to move on from him because instead of doing nothing, you're searching for ways and methods on how to move on.

My go-to answers when people ask me on how to move on would usually be to distract yourself with other activities so that you'll not have the time to really think about them. To be honest, it's actually something that I also did where during my free time, instead of trying to stalk my crush on social media, I focus on myself such as doing my hobbies or I hang out with my friends or family. 

However, you've mentioned to me that your feelings for him is not as strong as it used to be. So it's possible that you're in the phase where if you don't see him, you don't really think of him but when he's in front of you, you know that you still like him. What I would usually do if I was in this phase is I would purposely look away if I think that there is even a small chance of seeing my crush in front of me and again, and would just direct my attention towards something else. I used to have a crush on this one classmate of mine and we would have classes all day together and I've become an expert on not looking at him at all throughout the whole day.

This method works quite well for me but it's not a one-day formula because after all, moving on is something that takes time.

Another way of moving on is to properly take a look at your feelings for him. Do you have an idolized version of him in your mind? Sometimes, we still like someone because we tend to make up a fantasy in our mind where everything's perfect, but in reality, it's not. When I previously liked this one guy, I'd always thought he was perfect but after I realized that I had to move on from him, I began to properly look at him and began to notice a lot of flaws in him that I cannot really not tolerate in reality.

Talking to someone can also be a big help when you want to move on. Usually when I talk to my friends, it always helps me in feeling a little bit better and I can let go of things better.

I hope this would help you a lot in moving on from him and I wish you the best of luck in everything. Just keep in mind that moving on from someone is not something that can miraculously happen overnight. It takes time.

Love,
The Advice Column Team