The Advice Column IV

658

Advice Request
This person still likes their ex and wants to get back together but is confused about how their ex feels.

Answered Submission
Hello,

It’s great of you to be understanding of her and are willing to put aside your feelings for a while so that she can get better. And it’s been some time since then and she would give out mixed signals on her feelings for you.

From my point of view, there are two ways that you can approach this.

a) Wait a little longer and see how everything goes but don’t forget to always ask her about her mental health and tell her that you’re willing to help if there’s anything that you can do.

b) Have a talk with her about your relationship. Mention to her that you knew it was her behind those replies on your story and that you’re still very much interested in her, if she ever wants to get back together.

It is okay if you don’t pick the first choice. If you’re willing to wait for a long time, then this situation would be fine. But, we’re all humans and I’m sure that it is tough for you to wait for her without knowing when the wait will end. Personally, to me, it’s not selfish of you if you decide that you want a set time on how long you want to wait because it is necessary for you to take care of your own mental health as well. However, if you end up wanting to wait for her as long as possible, you have to be sure not to forget to take care of your own self.

However, for things to really move forward, it is important for you to communicate with her what you want as well. You’ve mentioned that you’re worried to ask her because she tends to close up. Do you know the reason she does so? Is it because she’s worried of people’s reactions? If so, you can try telling her that you are open to her answers, any answers that she might give. Make it known to her that you’re willing to hear anything and everything from her, make her feel comfortable and safe to talk. And I have to remind you as well to really keep your mind open with anything that she wants to say because unfortunately, there is a possibility that she is not interested to be in a relationship and is only worried of your reaction, thus not fully stating the truth.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

Stay safe and please practice social distancing and also don’t forget to always wash your hands with soap!

Good luck,
The Advice Column Team
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