The Advice Column IV

765

Advice Request
This person does not know if they want a long-distance relationship.

Answered Submission
Hey!

Your request is very much welcome here, please don't apologize for coming here again, and in future as well.

I am happy to hear that you and Jude are both in a mutually interested relationship. I am not sure if you're already together, dating, or you've just confessed and let it be. But before you start dating (it's okay even if you are currently dating), you should try thinking about whether or not you're interested in having a long distance relationship, whether you can handle a LDR, and whether you can trust him enough to be faithful in a LDR and everything else concerning your current relationship with him.

After you've figured out whether you want date him, even if it's long distance, you should talk to him about it all. Discuss and get his opinion. It could be possible that you want to date but he doesn't want to do LDR, or vice versa. You need to understand that not everyone can handle a LDR because it requires more strength, faith, trust, understanding and respect than close relationships. A romantic relationship is often more successful if you have physical skinship, which is lacking in a long distance relationship. However, if you're a minor, please don't get involved into a physical romantic relationship until you're a legal adult. Another problem in LDR is that even if you've already met in real life, people's personality changes over time. Perhaps you connect with his online personality more and when you meet up in real life years or months later, you don't feel that spark and he has changed in a manner you don't like. This is a common phenomenon that occurs when people date online.

This is a neutral viewpoint of the problems you would have to be facing if you're dating him after he's moved away. But if you think that despite all the problems you still want to try and give it a shot, I think you should tell him you want to date him even if he's in another state or city. Life is unpredictable, perhaps your liking towards him could turn into stronger feelings and you could end up dating for years but it would still be simply online dating.

If you think your feelings aren't strong enough to hold on to a LDR, I think you would have to give up on those feelings. But my first advice is still, to think about what you want and then talk it out with him.

I hope everything works out in your favor. Please don't hesitate to ask us for advice again. Take care of yourself.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team