The Advice Column IV

607

Advice Request
This person wants to stay away from a toxic person.

Answered Submission

Hello,

We're bound to experience drama no matter where we go, and it is completely up to us how we deal with it. You said that you stopped caring about the things he said; that is exactly what you should do when involved with someone like him. In my experience, it's almost impossible to change how other people behave. The only thing that we have the power to do is be the bigger person and just ignore their words.

However, at the moment, he's been saying things about your friend, and I understand why you would be upset about it. It's common for us to get more defensive and emotional when our friends or family are attacked by someone. What you can do are:

1. Talk to your friend. Ask your friend about her feelings and ask her what you can do to help her as a friend. I would also advise her to stop caring about the things that he said, because people like that feed on drama and attention. If you give them more attention they'll feel like they have won.

2. Remove yourself and your friend from the circle. I know it's impossible to completely avoid him because you're in the same team as him, but I would avoid interacting with him unless you have to.

I really hope this helps. If I were in your place, the only thing that I feel would help me in this situation is to start ignoring the things that they said, because their words don't really matter. The things that they said reflect more on their character than yours.

With love,
The Advice Column Team