The Advice Column IV

707

Advice Request
This person has a crush on a guy who is three grades above them and their sister also likes the same guy.

Answered Submission
Hello,
Crushes suck. Especially when they get complicated with age differences or competing feelings. They are not easy things to deal with, but they can be dealt with. Let's get into this, shall we?

First things first, my biggest qualm with you pursuing this guy is the age difference. Three grades is a lot. When you're older, three or four years isn't such a big deal, but when you're still in school it is. The teenage years are difficult enough as it is. Pursuing a romantic relationship with someone in a different stage of life than you does not make that easier. If anything, that only complicates it more.

Next, your sister has a crush on him too. If she is the same age or younger than you, I suggest you give her the same advice. Don't date a person on a different life level than you, especially in your teens. Now, I'm not saying you should concede just because someone else, your sister or otherwise, likes him too.  If you really like someone, there is nothing wrong with shooting your shot. I only ask that you be smart about it, and don't just think with your feelings.

Basically, no, I don't think you should try
pursuing him. Now the question is how do you get over a crush? One of the most important things to do is not only accept what you're feeling, but let yourself grieve for them as well. Getting over a crush can hurt sometimes. It's not always easy, but shoving down your emotions makes it that much harder. Now, it is also important not to let your emotions consume you. Don't let it be all you feel and think about. Do the things you enjoy too. Engage in your hobbies, talk to your friends and family, keep up with school. Fall into your routine, and maybe add something new to spice it up ((i.e. try a new hobby, do something you don't do often like go see a movie or meet your friends to hang out, start working out if you don't to incorporate a new slot in your routine (these are only examples feel free to come up with your own or try these)).

Life moves on, honey. This may be hard now, but one day you'll look back and it won't look so daunting anymore.  I truly hope this helps, love. Do come back if you have any other questions or advice requests!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team