The Advice Column IV

609

Advice Request
This person wants to date someone younger than them.

Answered Submission
Hello,
If you're concerned about breaking laws on underage dating, the first thing to know is that no such laws exist. There is nothing saying you can't date someone younger than you, even if they are a minor.

However, you should be aware of statutory rape laws if you're dating someone younger than the legal age of consent in your state. Such laws are there to punish adults who take sexual advantage of minors. If the guy you're looking to date is below the legal age of consent, you could be charged with statutory rape, even if the sex is consensual. Basically, what that means is even if you two choose to have sexual intercourse, because he is still a minor, you could be charged with rape if someone were to press charges.

Now, there are laws commonly known as 'Romeo and Juliet laws', which basically say that if someone is older, but close in age to the minor when they consent to sex, the older party may not be charged for statutory rape or be punished as harshly as a much older adult. I think this is what your parents were trying to warn you about. Now, chances are, since you are a girl, you wouldn't have anything to worry about. It's sexist, yes, but that's just the way it is right now.

Here's the deal: I can't tell you what to do. I can only make suggestions and hope you take them into account when making these decisions. And I'm not trying to scare you with all this legal talk. I know that rape is a very strong word that should not be thrown around easily. I'm just trying to help explain your parents' argument against you dating this boy.

Now, it is in my personal opinion that if you want to date him, by all means, go for it. You care about each other, see where it goes, but if either of you are expecting or even think there is a possibility of sex, then maybe wait a while. It's just better to avoid any potential risks.

Figure out where you stand. Not just on the issue of his status as a minor, but the potential risks for you as well (i.e. pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.). Think on it if you're not entirely sure right now, then talk to your guy. Explain where you're coming from and make sure he understands the risks for both of you. I wish you all the best, and I really hope this helps! Feel free to ask if you have any questions!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team