The Advice Column IV

777

Advice Request
This person wants to know whether to confess a crush on a straight friend.

Answered Submission
Hey!

It's really a nice situation to be in when you like someone. It's not a bad thing to be obsessed with the person you like; that is what liking means. It's natural for you to want to be close to them, to have your eyes always follow them, to always want to keep talking to them. And that's all completely alright.

Now there are multiple things you can do depending on what you want to choose. If you want to forget her naturally without confessing, I think this will happen gradually after you both move to different high schools. It might make you anxious and sad for her to be in a different school but it might be necessary if you don't want to be in a relationship with them and just want to move on from your feelings.

However, if you want to work on your feelings and date her or at least even tell her about your feelings so that you can move on after hearing her thoughts, I think confession is a good option. Either she rejects you or accepts you or asks you to give her some time to think. Whatever her answer, you have already exhausted your feelings into words, so great job! You were brave for that. Whatever happens on the next step isn't that important; what is important is that you followed your heart.

I can't decide for you whether you should date her or simply move on. This ultimately relies on what you want. I do think that whatever the case, you should start focusing on yourself more. When people find it hard to focus on themselves, it's often not a good timing to date because you're gonna end up horribly distracted. This is especially the case if it's your last year in middle school and you need to decide which high school to go to or during exam seasons. Confessing your feelings is up to you since it might even take off the weight off of your chest. However I would advise you to focus on your education before you get serious about dating. Your priorities as a student should be your family members and education, friendships and romantic relationships are secondary currently and they will come and go. This also means that rather than joining clubs that she is in, find clubs you would like to participate in. Find your own interests, being a follower doesn't mean you can't have your own interests. If you can't find any, try different clubs until you do like something a tad bit more than the others.

I am not advising against dating her but I do advise that you focus on your present education, personal self and future goals. Good luck with her and I hope everything works out in your favor.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team