The Advice Column IV

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Advice Request
This person's online best friend has a crush on them, but it is not reciprocated.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It must've been hard on you. Unfortunately, there isn't a great answer for this issue.

It can be uncomfortable to know that your friend has a crush on you. Especially when they are seemingly "always there" in a way. It can feel stifling. The question here is how to handle it. You made the choice to ignore his messages and stop reaching out. Because of that, he eventually stopped messaging you. Cause and effect. And he has every right to be upset about that, and every right to move on. As hurt as you are right now, you have to remember that he lost his best friend too. You can't say it's his fault for moving on after being cut out of your life abruptly. You didn't want to accept him, so you ignored him. He understood the message and moved on.

Now, what courses of action are available to you currently? You have two main options.
1) You can reach out to him one more time. If he responds, I suggest talking to him about what happened, explaining your perspective, and apologizing. Your feelings were valid, but your actions were hurtful, in the long run to both of you.
If he doesn't respond, leave things at that, and do your best to move on. Learn from your possible mistakes, and keep moving forward with your life.

2) You can leave things where they are now, and follow the second half of the previous option. Learn from your mistakes and grow from them.

Either way, it's important to understand that this situation is a result of your actions, and sometimes we just have to live with that. I do suggest that if you reach out and he doesn't respond, that you don't spam him hoping that will get him to. He deserves space to heal and be just as you do.

I hope this helps, love. Come back any time if you'd like more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team