The Advice Column IV

700

Advice Request
This person does not know if they are gay or bi.

Answered Submission
Hello,

One's sexuality can often be a complex idea to both understand and accept. We are perpetually in a state of change and fluidity, and what we think to be a permanent identity may not be. For example, right now you can't tell if you are gay or bi. In a few months, you may decide that you're one or the other, and in a year you may switch them. Maybe you're bi or maybe you're gay or maybe you're straight, but that is but a fragment of you, and often times a temporary piece that may or may not change in the future. That doesn't make you any less valid in your identity. I encourage you not to focus on just one small aspect of your person. Your sexuality is not your identity. It is merely a piece of it.

My advice for you here is to do your best not to stress over this.  I know that's not an easy request to make, but think of it like this. You are so much more than who/what you're attracted to, darling, and you have you're whole life ahead of you to figure out where you stand. For now, enjoy your youth! Hang out with friends, finish school, and let relationships come as they may. You'll figure it all out along the way.

Now, onto the next issue. This one coincides with your main problem as well. How do you come out to your parents? Love, that is entirely up to you. If you want to tell them, then go for it, but if you're not ready for that yet then there's no pressure to fill them in. Especially since you are not quite sure where you are just yet (between being gay or bi). Personally, I'd wait for a bit. You aren't dating anyone. You aren't positive where you stand at the moment. You don't have anything concrete to tell them right now, but once again, that is just my opinion. If you want to talk to your parents and fill them in on your mental state, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is all about how you want to handle it. I hope this helps, hun. If you have any questions or need more advice don't hesitate to come back!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team