The Advice Column IV

720

Advice Request
This person feels pressured by a lot of things.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about how you've been feeling lately. It is not easy feeling ignored or unappreciated. Now, based on what you've written in your request, I have some things I'd like to go over.

First, I'm glad you are happy to talk to your boyfriend. I would be concerned if you didn't, but I get the feeling you rely on him for a lot. The fact that, in your words, nothing makes you feel better besides talking to your boyfriend is concerning to me. It is fine that you talk to him, but you can't place your happiness entirely in another person. That is not healthy, and that does not bode well for you or the health of this relationship. I suggest doing some self-reflection, and trying to find the root of the problem. Of course, you can obviously still talk to your boyfriend, but don't rely solely on him to make you happy. You need to be happy on your own as well. Find other reasons and find the reason of happiness within yourself too.

Next, let's look at the "self-centered" incident. I hate to break it to you but it is highly unlikely that they called you self-centered simply because you told them how you felt. Do I think you were being self-centered on purpose? No. More likely you were unaware of it, and so from your perspective it would appear that you were being attacked for no reason. This is another area for self-reflection. What exactly was the conversation about? Did you steer the conversation to be about your feelings instead of theirs? Did you disregard something they said that could cause them to be upset with you? Did someone ever talk about their experience and you just spoke about yours instead? There are a number of reasons why a person would respond to someone that way, and it is a reaction. This was not likely an unsolicited attack. They were probably responding to the situation, so it it important to think on that.

As for your friends, I'm sorry you feel they don't care about you. I suggest telling them how you feel, and giving them your point of view so that they know and have the opportunity to do something about it. It often feels like someone doesn’t care but a lot of people don’t show their affection or have a different way of showing it. If they blow you off or choose to ignore your feelings then you have the option to find new friends. It's not easy, but I know you can put yourself out there.

I hope this helps. Remember to reflect on your life and your interactions with people, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need more advice!

Stay strong,
The Advice Column Team