Satin Fantasy

51. Now I'm Here

The three boys went down almost simultaneously at 5 minutes before pick up time. Each one surprised at seeing Freddie first at the lobby waiting, all dressed with his shades on looking more rested than the 3 of them. His clothes immaculate with hair soft and fluffed from blow dry.

They on the other hand looked every bit how one would imagine a rockstar. Greasy hair, mismatched clothes and very unrested faces. Even Deaky who always keep time struggled to get up after that wreckage last night let alone take a shower.

Freddie had not gotten a good sleep last night. As soon as he saw the clock hit 12 noon, he went down to start waiting at the lobby, ready to fly back to London. He doesn't care who sees him, he doesn't want to wait another minute more than what's scheduled.

*****

They landed at 9:30 pm London time. That almost 14 hour flight back was torture for Freddie. He was restless and tired. He can't put his mind at ease until he had his talk with Isabella.

Why does she have to be so cold hearted in her letter, as though they were not even friends but mere acquaintances.. to add more insult to injury, she didn't even gave him the courtesy of doing it personally. That bitch! Doesn't she care what he feels? Just because she could disappear in her little private world doesn't mean she should. Was she expecting him to just take it so easy, getting tossed to the side.

Has she thought I'm not as magical, wonderful, fantastic in real life as I am on stage? She must desperately want to rid of me that bad... Dam'mit!

On and on his mind went.

They were cleared from immigration and out of the airport after 11pm. Mike was waiting in front and picked up Freddie's things as soon as he spots him.

"Welcome back Freddie." He smiled genuinely glad his boss is back.

"Thanks. Mike, bring me to Isabella's. I'll get a cab from there after."

Mike noticed the curtness in his boss's voice. He better hurry with his driving before he bear the brunt of his displeasure.

*****

Isabella was having a wonderful dream that kept a smile to her face before loud knocks woke her up. She stirred while stretching as she looks at the clock, 10 minutes past midnight. This feels like Deja Vu. Another series of loud knocks told her this is definitely really happening.

Ughh, I must have been a nuisance in my previous life to deserve this penance of sleep interruption during ungodly hours.

She stood up grumpily and took her robe as well as her glasses. Her hair was a messy mop having slept on it while still wet from the shower.

"Who is it?"

Silence.

"I'm calling the cops if you don't answer." She's said, pretending to be brave.

"Oh please dear, you don't have a phone so you can't call the cops."

Her heart started pounding hard at hearing Freddie's voice. Why is he here?

"I could wait outside if you like."

He didn't contact me for 6 days after I sent him the letter.. what now?

"Freddie?... Uhm, why are you here?" She adjusted her eye glasses as she lay her ears flat to the door.

"I just want to talk.. Look I'm very tired, I just landed from Japan. I lost a lot of sleep travelling here."

She lifted her ears from the door. She was unsure what to do. It seems so heartless if she were to send him away at this hour when he sounds very tired.

She slowly unlocked the bolts and opened the door. Freddie sat there at the top step of the stairs. She looked at him while he looked up at her. She was holding the door with both hands for support.

Oh, how she missed him..

He stood up and walked to her. Afraid to go near him, Isabella opens the door wider so he could come inside. Immediately feeling her distancing herself, Freddie walked in slowly while he stared at her. He's so tormented at seeing her near but obviously out of his reach.

She opened the lights and excused herself hurrying up to her room. He wanted to walk to her and hug her tight until he knows she could feel every bit of him near her. But he stopped himself. He had promised her once he would not violate her the same way. And he wants to honor that promise.

She walked out of her room in her cotton pajama set, covered from neck to the ankle and sat across from him. Of course she needs to do that, cover up. But it's to no point as even just looking at her face is enough to fan his desire. He shook his head to try and physically clear his thoughts.

"So uhh, I got your letter." He glanced at her and looked back at his hands on his lap. Unable to concentrate with what he has to say.

"Ohh.. did you uhmm.. see the keys?" She was nervous to talk about this now. Or at anytime really. She thought she got out scrape free.

"I have, yes.. it's inside the envelope as you've uhmm left it."

"That's good.." An awkward silence stretched between them.

"Do you want to have some tea?" Lord, it's past midnight! Who drinks tea at this hour?

"Sure, sure.. tea sounds nice.."

She smiled nervously at him and stood up too hurriedly to ready the kettle.

Freddie's eyes followed her as she stood going to the kitchen. Without her seeing, he let the filter down. He stare at her longingly, wishing she wasn't so distant towards him. As if he's now another outsider in her life.

Knowing the kettle takes awhile to boil, Isabella excused herself to use the toilet. She doesn't want to stand awkwardly at the kitchen staring at the pot.

He doesn't know why but after Isabella closed the bathroom door, he found himself walking slowly towards her room. He wants to lie in her bed, longging for her nearness and warmed by that feeling of knowing she was resting there earlier, snuggled and safe.

His eyes caught something from the side of her pillow, half covered by the blanket. He moves the pillow and the sheets and saw his yellow polo shirt, creased and soiled. Lifting the shirt, he studied it closely by the warm light from the side table. It was stained with what seemed like dried tear marks.

He suddenly had a vision of her sleeping with his shirt to the side of her face, using it for comfort as a few tears fell..

Before he could complete his thoughts he heard her approaching from the living room. He didn't move just stood there, afraid to let his mind give his heart hope.

"Freddie?... Why are you in here?.. Your tea is.."

He slowly turn to face her with downcast eyes before shyly looking up to her eyes. His soft brown eyes holding her gaze, not letting her breathe for a moment. The tenderness is enough to melt her.

He moved his hand to the front and she saw him holding his polo.

She turned red and stammered while trying to explain "Oh that.. actually I was going to return it uhmm.. after it's washed. And. And.. I haven't found time to bring it to the dry cleaners! So, well.."

He continue to look at her while she wraps her arms around herself. Both of them frozen to their spot.

He stepped closer to her and she steps backwards still trying to explain. "I must have splashed water on it while I shower! And.. and.."

She shouldn't have said that and put a mental image on his head. He needs to settle this once and for all.

Getting nowhere with her explanation, she turned around to walk away. To hide! Save face! Before she could though, he managed to grab at her wrist.

She was caught red handed yet again. First at stealing kisses when he's asleep and now this!

Her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. She wants the floor to cave in and take her. But there's no one to save her now. Not at this hour and not at this rate.