Avenger Preferences/Scenarios

Their Reaction to Your Suicide

TRIGGER WARNING

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Steve Rogers

        He didn't believe anything that Tony or the team told him. He refused to believe that the happy woman he knew would so this to herself so he demanded to see you. He needed to see it for himself, he had to know. Bruce and Clint both tried hard to talk him out of that but he insisted and made his way into the room. Still though, even seeing your body laying pale and cold he couldn't accept it. When he touched your cheek, when he felt the coldness of your skin under his fingers the only thing he felt was an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness. He was broken, so sad that he couldn't cry and so alone that he didn't hear the voices of his friends around him. He didn't understand it, why you had done it and the note left behind only made him angry. Not at you but at himself for not noticing the signs for not helping you when he had the chance. Now he didn't. Now he was only half the person he used to be because when you died, so did a part of him.

Tony Stark

        Tony wasn't great at dealing with loss, he wasn't great at showing emotions that were denied to him. So, when he had found you he didn't react. He wanted to cry, lord knows he did but no tears came. He was confused, worried that maybe he was defective or something. He ended up drowning his pain in the most expensive whiskey he could get his hands on before he understood. He was so used to bottling up everything bad he felt that when something so tragic happened he just didn't feel it. Not until he was chest deep in booze did he really start to feel the pain of your death. The letter you left offered him some insight into what you were thinking before doing what you did. Even so, it certainly didn't ease his pain. You left him alone to deal with his demons. You left his alone and nothing could soothe that pain. No amount of alcohol or money could repair that damage.

Bruce Banner

       He cried, sobbed and held you against him until he was torn away by both Natasha and Tony. He couldn't stand the thought of being in this world without you around. Each time he thought about it he always thinks about the what if's and the I should have's but that doesn't bring the dead back. He was destroyed, physically because he stopped sleeping and mentally because he blamed himself completely. He would forever be lost without you and Hulk too would miss your kindness.

Thor Odinson

         Complete shock when his mother had told him what had happened. Had his time's away really affected you so badly as to take your own life? He was distraught, grabbing his mother and screaming that she was a liar. She didn't react with anything more than a very sad and regretful expression. Thor knew then that she was being honest and that's when the pain really hit him. He was angry, sad, and so confused. Last he left you had sent him off with a smile and now he was left with only the memory of it. If he had only been here longer, maybe then he could have changed things. If he had known how upset you really were then maybe he could have consoled you. He spent days in his chambers, locked away to be alone. The only noise heard was the deep sobs and cries of your name.

Loki Laufeyson

      Disappointment. Loki at first was nothing but angry and disappointed in what you had done. Convinced that you believed the lies fed to you by those that didn't matter. It wasn't until he read your letter and saw your peaceful face did the pain replace the anger. His fingers traced your jaw and around your eyes until they stopped on your forehead and then slowly retracted to sit at his side. He said nothing for a very long time and spent so much time alone in the place where you had met that he rarely sat sunlight. He cried for hours thinking about how much he missed you and how he should have said something when he saw the pain in your eyes. How he could have saved you and so many more things he could have done but hind sight is twenty-twenty and he was clearly blind.

Clint Barton

      He wasn't home when he received the news, Natasha had told him while they were getting ready to head back home. His world stopped. Suddenly nothing else mattered and he needed to see you immediately. He had to know because everything in him wanted to believe that what she said was a lie. Though deep in his heart he knew it wasn't. He knew something was wrong from the moment he left, he couldn't shake it and now he knew what the problem was. He stopped moving as soon as he heard the news, sat down where he stood and stared without blinking into the blue sky. Wasn't the sky suppose to turn black and rain when people grieved? It wasn't suppose to be blue and sunny, it wasn't suppose to be happy because this clearly was not a happy moment. He spent his time hiding, crying, and cursing himself under his breath. He will never forgive himself for letting this happen.

James "Bucky" Barnes

        The simple thought of losing you caused Bucky a great deal of pain but that thought becoming reality was too much. He was trained to feel nothing and the moment he found you that's all he felt. He wanted to cry and he wanted to so badly but he couldn't. He spent hours alone, in your room, staring at the wall that held several pictures of you and him. He clutched his chest from time to time when the pain became overwhelming and he couldn't physically take it anymore. Occasionally he would manage a small word and that would always be your name. He never would be the same again.