Natasha Harkin (Natasha Romanoff x Y/N Harkin gxg)

Ruined Vacation

A/N Um... No the title is not lying. All I have to say is, prepare yourselves...

Natasha POV 

I woke up suddenly, sitting upright in the bed with the sheets falling down to settle around my waist. My chest is heaving with quick breaths and I scrunch my eyes shut trying to rid myself of the dreams. They hadn't been happening recently but just now... they were worse then ever. 

"Babe... Are you ok?" Y/N shifts next to me, wrapping her arms around me from behind. She yawns and kisses my shoulder as I start to calm down a little. 

"Yeah. I'm fine." I muster and feel her nestle her head against my bare back. "I'm gonna go shower." I shrug her off of me as I turn to stand up from the bed.  

"Nat... it's 6 in the morning. Come back." Her voice is quiet and I turn to see a worried expression on her face. 

"Just go to sleep." I respond walking towards the bathroom. 

"You're impossible." She mutters as she throws off the covers and stands up to walk to my side. "What's going on?" 

"Noth-"

"Don't even try to tell me it's nothing." She crosses her arms and glares at me. A small smile appears on my face as I see her attempt at being intimidating while wearing nothing... it doesn't work too well. "What? This isn't funny." 

"It kinda is." I smile and her and she rolls her eyes. 

"Tasha... you looked freaked out. I want to help but I can't if I don't know what's going on." She runs her hands up and down my arms and I sigh. 

"It really was nothing. I told you about the nightmares... they just pick bad times to come back." I walk past her, into the bathroom. 

"Don't shut me out." She follows me and I shut my eyes again. 

"You said you wouldn't push." I turn to her and she sighs. 

"And I won't. But I hate seeing you scared." She walks forwards, pulling me towards her into a tight hug. 

"I wasn't scared." I answer quickly and she pulls away with a raised eyebrow. 

"Oh I forgot. You're a big bad scary woman who isn't soft and never gets scared. Sorry for my mistake." She crosses her arms and walks back out of the bathroom. "I'm going back to bed. Have fun in the shower." 

"Y/N! I didn't-" 

"It's fine, Natasha." She shuts the door behind her and I stand there, overthinking everything. That was a lie right? Her saying she's fine means that she is actually isn't fine, right? I debate going back out into the bedroom but decide to take the shower anyway. 

As I stand there with the cool water running over my body I think about last night. I was overwhelmed with how caring she was and just how much I loved her. I wasn't even aware I could love someone and now... and now I had just messed up... again. I was really bad at this. 

As I was overthinking and trying to reason with myself the water had gotten very cold. I turned the water off and quickly changed, having decided on my apology. I turned the handle and started to ramble, "Y/N. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you think-" But the bed was empty and that only made me feel worse. The sheets were changed and there was no sound in the house. I felt like I was reliving what happened a few nights ago. Because just as before she wasn't in the house. But this time I was the bad guy, not her negative thoughts and her own nightmares. 

I walked outside and sighed in relief when the boat was still there. I walked around the corner of the house expecting to see her out on the water surfing but instead I heard laughter. I froze, not recognizing the other voice.