Kizzy fly by night.

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Epilogue

Kizzy 5 years later.

Yes a lot has changed it would be weird if it hadn't.

I often think about Dante in a dark moment...he never made it out you know...he was burnt to a cinder. I reckon they let him die on purpose. It was probably for the best when you look at the bigger picture as I'm sure a life behind bars wasn't on his agenda.

Benita and I talk occasionally but there's a barrier between us now. She always ends the conversation by saying that my room is always waiting and I laugh and say 'Sure.' who knows? Maybe one day. She and Phoenix have a rocky relationship but so far they're sticking it out for Lucky's sake.

Phoenix always seems to be guarded when Bs around but when he rings from work he's a lot more open and I get the feeling that he'd chat all day if I let him.

The press interest has died down and we are almost living the pedestrian life again.

No doubt you have a lot of questions about me...well here goes. I'm an old lady now 24! Where the fuck did my youth go? And I'd bet you're wondering if I went back to living in a box...haha as much as I'd loved it when I was 14 I just couldn't hack it now plus there is nowhere in Central London to camp. Buildings are springing up everywhere, a hide-away alley is no more. Every spare space is accounted for...so what's a girl to do? I'll tell you. I took the easy route (in some ways) and married a rich old Doctor who apparently at one time (so he says!) was on the verge of discovering a drug that would cure Cancer! How cool would that have been... or maybe he's a liar and has Dementia. Either way, it doesn't matter to me, for the moment I'm here and more than comfortable living in a big house at Notting Hill Gate.

On the outside life sparkles but you know there's the other bit, the part where you have to fuck him to keep him generous. It's not easy and he smells of old man despite his expensive aftershaves.

Our sex schedule is Wednesday and Sunday. I really couldn't stomach anymore and he knows better than to ask. What I normally do is lay back and think of Dante...then I stop because it makes me all wistful but all in all I've not got too much to moan about things could be a lot worse.

Dad so far hasn't found me. He still rings Benita and hangs up...one day we'll talk but for the moment I prefer to hide.

As far as my husband Peter is concerned I am pure, misunderstood and he seems to get off thinking that he's my knight in shining Armour.  Haha whatever rocks his boat.

Another downside is that I have to dress how he wants me to. I look expensive but personally I wouldn't even dress my granny in these clothes...(if I had one!)

My hair is cut into a neat blunt style which sits daintily on my shoulders and is cared for regularly by top salons. My make-up is stunning, I am classy and look like one of those women in 'Hello' magazine...only I know the truth and what a fight it is to keep my darkness at bay but I'm sure one day he will find out, it has to happen as I can't hide forever. Poor guy, but for the moment he has his happy ever after it's just not permanent...nothing is.

Now we have the matter of the Police as you're no doubt curious about what happened once I handed Lucky over...well being honest I hate happy endings but I was hailed in the press as a kind of anti-hero and it was as if the whole world wanted a part of me. I could do no wrong in their eyes. God one idiot even nicknamed me the poor man's Princess Diana! Wow like really? I decided to accept that, who wouldn't?

I can't help wondering if Dad read any of it and if so what did he think? Was he proud or dismayed? Was he bragging amongst fellow inmates about his amazing daughter? Difficult to tell with him, it normally depends on his moods (which can change in a flash.)

Either way, it doesn't matter as I've moved up in the world. No opinion is relevant apart from my own and just maybe my husband's...although I tend to think of him at times as my ball and chain... but I guess that's the price you pay for security and for that I'm grateful.

No doubt without him, I'd just be drifting or God forbid picking up guys to fleece and that would not be progress.

Right now I deserve all the praise...I've earned it. I have choices, I can go places, the only downside is the husband comes too, his pale blue eyes sparkling with the new life that I've given him. However, I will never love him. I made a promise 5 years ago to only ever love me and that's what I'm sticking to.

Whatever the future sends and whatever doors may open I'll be ready.

Book 4 to begin soon.