Kizzy fly by night.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Slipping my key in the door I smile as the dogs Podge and Cheto race toward me. I flop down on the sofa and shut my eyes, the world keeps on turning but in reality, it doesn't change, same problems, just different bloody characters.

Later on I tune into the latest Eastenders. After living on the street this is still a novelty for me and I don't mind admitting that I'm hooked. I love escaping into someone else's problems.

Benita returns later creeping in like an intruder trying to avoid me. She switches on the front room light and gasps at me sitting on the sofa with my arms crossed in full mama mode.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick."

"Sorry, didn't realise I had to check in with you... mum."

I wave my hand dismissively, "Hey it's dangerous out there that's all...now tell me about this new creep you're seeing."

Benita laughs, "He's not a creep."

'I knew I was bloody right!'

"Yeah whatever, they're all creeps B, take it from me."

"He's different," she sniffs heading to the kitchen.

"Well where did you meet him, can you tell me that at least?"

"We'll talk tomorrow ok, I'm bushed."

I frown but let it drop for the time being. I head up to my room and climb into bed with my clothes on. I still haven't really got used to feeling safe at night, even though I know that I'm in a cozy bed, in a warm house. Some feelings never go away.

Next morning I hear Benita pottering about fixing breakfast and feeding the dogs. I race downstairs determined to catch her before she leaves for work.

"Morning B."

Benita smiles while nursing a strong coffee. She's sat at the breakfast bar so I join her, smiling sweetly.

"So spill the beans then, who is he?"

Benita giggles, "He was a customer, a late one."

I roll my eyes, already hating him.

"He came in just as I was closing up. The attraction was instant."

"How so?"

"Well he's very handsome, he speaks well and he has this spark in his eyes that's so amazing, need I go on?"

I stand up shaking my head, "OK stop before I vomit, no guy can be that good!"

"Well, this one is, I think I'm falling for him."

"But you barely know him," I say feeling a rush of anxiety. That's my day well and truly ruined.

Benita beams, "Some things are just written in the stars."

I leave the art college, with a handful of forms then turn onto Shaftesbury Avenue. I've had a crazy idea that could be a way forward, a way to apply myself to something positive, but the other side of me seems to be scoffing as if to say who are you trying to kid, you're wasting your time. But if not that then what...acting or drama school is for the rich, no one is going to fund that. Basically, I'm directionless and it's a feeling that's getting oddly comfortable. I wonder what Todd would have thought, how disappointed he would feel... My gratitude to him for saving me is endless, without it I would have been straight back into the care system ending no doubt on a path to more misery and despair.

Life isn't easy on dreamers, dreaming costs time which can never be recovered. Somehow I need to pull myself together and try to make a difference.

Benita opens the till and closes it smiling. Love sure has put a spring in her step she beams as thoughts of him bubble away.

'Phoenix is quite a guy, tall blonde and the bluest eyes that she's ever seen. It's beyond her how she ended up being so lucky. The death of her father had nearly killed her but here she was a year later all dewy-eyed and beating heart. He was constantly in her thoughts, she wondered what Todd would have thought of him but deep down it didn't matter, she loved him and that was that. Her heart shone, Phoenix rising from the ashes, a great golden bird sent from above to rescue her.

Kizzy

I put out a fresh tray of cinnamon buns. Two fall onto the floor and I put them to the side for later. You can take the girl out of the street but not so much the other way around. I wonder about Star-Sue and what she's doing at this moment, does she live...with the pimp? Does he hit her? Keep her prisoner? There's a Hell of a difference between Sue and Star. How on earth has she fallen into this way of life...I have a strong feeling that I'll see her again soon, she's like a lonesome flower surrounded by weeds, this could be the start of a friendship.