Kizzy fly by night.

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I screw up the letter and throw it in the bin. Why can't the past stay buried... I try to shake it from my mind.

Across the street Phoenix watched her, sooner or later he'd make her pay, one way or another.

Star

This was Star's first venture into the world of hardcore movies and she hated it. Never in her life had she felt so humiliated. She sat in the bathroom choking back the tears while trying to clean her body. It wasn't even the sex, she was more than used to that, it was the way that she was tossed about, talked at, ignored, and laughed at as if she was nothing but a piece of trash. Just because she felt like nothing it didn't mean she wanted to be treated like it, even her pimp Jed at least pretended to care. Her eyes misted up at the thought of him, she felt hurt that he'd made no attempt to find her and beg her to come home like he'd done on previous occasions. Kizzy had warned her, but she hadn't listened and here she was. There had been talk of flying her to the U.S.A. to meet with top-notch producers. Tam grinned broadly while name-dropping some international porn stars. She had smiled and made all the right noises but deep down she knew she wouldn't go, who knew what would happen to her out there? She'd probably come home in a bloody box.

Tam knocked on the door, "We need you on set babe."

She stood up and smiled, "Just coming."

Kizzy

I take Podge and Cheto to Hyde Park for a treat. They happily drag me along. Podge is eager to break away remembering full well the good old days and unable to contain the shot of happiness that races through him. Cheto follows loyally, tail wagging like a wind machine. Laughing I pick up a stick and throw it as far as I can. The sky is a beautiful shade of Indigo, the clouds fresh and clean like cotton wool puffs. I sit down feeling very lucky, not many could have survived what I've been through. Taking out my sketchbook I do a quick pencil drawing of the dogs. They run towards me tongues flapping and saliva dripping. I fall back as they envelope me in a sloppy gooey embrace. Both of them plonk themselves on my stomach and I stare up at the sky, for the moment trapped and happy.

Phoenix observed her from the cafe sipping his coffee. He was tired of waiting, it was time for action. The blood rushed to his face and his knuckles whitened. He slammed his cup down and got up, giving one last look before walking away.

Kizzy

My mind drifts to Lulu and all the happy times we've spent here. If I try really hard I imagine that I can hear her but the reality is ... she's gone and is nothing more than a memory. I take the dogs home and get ready for work.

Star was waiting in the bakery nursing a cup of hot chocolate and picking at a Danish pastry. She was heavily made up having come straight from the set and down in the dumps. She'd thought that she'd had it made staying at Tam's but now it was beginning to get her down. He was a demanding, dribbling repulsive slob most days and it sickened her, accelerating her self-loathing. He had promised her fame and a lot of money but so far all she'd had was his slobbering over her night after night and she was tired of it. Her thoughts had turned to Kizzy, so here she was in desperate need of a pep talk. She missed her like mad.

Benita looked over at Star and smiled even though disapproving vibes floated around her. Star forced a smile back.

"How are you Sue, another chocolate?" said Benita.

"Ok, that will be lovely."

Benita made another and took it over.

"So you're waiting for Kizzy?"

"Yep," said Star wondering where this was leading.

"Oh well I'm sure she said she was busy today..." said Benita glancing at the clock.

"I'll take my chance," snapped Star pulling a mirror out and applying lipstick.

Benita shrugged and walked away, "Up to you."

Star glowered at her back, the dislike was mutual. It was obvious that Benita didn't approve of her but Kizzy was her only friend and she wasn't going to let some stuck-up sister spoil things.

Half an hour later Kizzy strolled in and Benita pointed to Star, "You have a visitor."

Benita grabbed her jacket and headed towards the door.

Kizzy

"Where are you off to?" I say, anxious to slide past the hostile vibes.

"Hot date."

I scowl, "What else!"

Feeling rebellious, I lock the door once Benita has vanished from sight. I sit down with Star, two coffees and two donuts in hand.

"Ok Miss Star, what's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah right, you've got a face like a wet weekend."

Star stretches sighing dramatically, "It's just this situation with Tam..."

I scoff, "Tam the man, what's he done?"

"He said he would make me a star."

I bite into a doughnut, "Well he would say that wouldn't he? I mean God, he thinks he's the new Larry Flint or something."

"But he has connections," protests Star.

I can see she's pissed, I've obviously touched a nerve.

I shrug, "Well what do you want me to say?"

"Don't know...just felt like being normal for a few hours," she hesitates, "Don't suppose you'd ever thought about us getting a place together?"

I smile, "I could never leave Benita she's my family..."

"So you don't really like me then?" she said sitting back rigidly.

I reach for her hand, "No it's not that, Benita and I need each other, she just forgets sometimes."

An uncomfortable silence fills the room.

"So how was the shoot then?"

"Awful," said Star, "Worse than being on the streets...I mean at least most of the punters make you feel as if you're something."

I nod knowing exactly what she means. Living and working the streets has warped my mind. It is like I can't love anymore and am quite happy living behind a shutter and thinking more and more how like my dad I seem.

"So what's your next move?"

Star shrugs, "That's just it I don't know..."

"Well for starters what has he actually promised you?"

"All but the world," said Star, "But I lose my soul in the process."

I stand up, "Well that's too high a price. That life's not for you."

Star folds her arms stubbornly, "It could be..."

Star watches Kizzy walk away and decides to head to Archer Street. Maybe she can pick up a quick client before heading back to the Woodlouse.

I see her go but have too many customers to dwell on it further. She's a dumb bitch, I should back away...wide away.