A female of 5'9 height with black hair done up in a ponytail sighed as she sat at the recording desk, a laptop opened to a particular writing site. She made her coffee from the machine to her left before turning on all the lights.
The studio beyond the recording glass had four microphones at various heights for each character along with a pure white full sofa. The door to the recording booth opened and three males in carbon likeness walked out along with a blonde male.
They all carried stools and got around their microphones. "Good morning!" The girl chuckled and the males stiffened at her tone.
"Kazumi-chan, you're being creepy again," Shikadai accuses. Kazumi scoffed and gave him a devious smirk. Shikamaru smacked him over the head.
"You talk too much," Naruto scolded softly.
"Thank you, Naruto," Kazumi smiled as she took a sip of her coffee.
"So, what's today's plot?" Shikaku asked as he could already imagine so many scuffed requests.
"No plots just a little discussion," Kazumi answered with a gleam in her eyes.
"What kind of discussion?" Shikamaru yawned. Kasumi giggled.
"Oh, just your thoughts on all your previous work. How did it feel to...ya know?" She waved her hand looking away with a shy expression.
"Voice the most outrageous plots put forth by the mass. It wasn't bad enough that we had the main books to keep up with but you had to go and make a one-shot book," Naruto scowled. "You're gonna kill yourself at the writing desk."
Kasumi stuck her tongue out at him. "We were missing a one-shot book, okay?! I didn't even know it would blow up like this. I originally didn't even want to make requests."
"Then why did you?" Shikadai asked putting his hand under his chin.
Kasumi blushed, giggling like a crazy person. "You have no idea what I imagine when the day's over. But I knew others had some ideas they wanted to be written and if my author had a one-shot book, I would like to request something too if I liked their writing style. So, I came up with the thread idea to keep track of the requests, and it sort of just went downhill? In a good way?"
She was met with dark glares so she squeaked and hid behind her cup of coffee.
"I would like to lodge a formal complaint to HR," Shikaku raised his hand. Kazumi scowled at him but placed on her thick square glasses.
"HR speaking," She placed on a snotty tone to her original voice and placed a hand on her hip.
"What? Are we that broke?" Shikamaru had no empathy as he attacked the girl. Kazumi covered her mouth to hold back blood. She coughed in a white handkerchief as she thought about all the cup ramen, she ate to pay for her tuition fees.
'How cruel,' She cried internally. Scholarships? ¡Ha!
"Your complaint Shikaku?" Kazumi went back to her regular voice.
"Can we please have more wholesome scenes? What the hell was going on in Nipple Piercings? Why the hell would I care if Naruto wants to put holes in his chest?"
Kasumi shrugged. "I don't know, I just follow the request."
"And the incest! What the fuck?! We started so well," Naruto teared up at the countless scenes he had to put himself in.
"Granted the first plot of 'What are you doing stepbrother was so tacky'. I did not have hope after it went live," Shikamaru piled on.
"And then I joined the sexual scenes and we had hit rock bottom," Shikadai shivered.
"Try a plot that makes you a pedophile, people still comment 'babe you're a victim' to Naruto." Shikaku voiced as he slowly slid off his chair. The man looked haunted.
Kasumi cleared her throat and they all turned to her. She took a deep breath. "Guys it was just a request-"
They revolted talking over each other so fiercely that Kazumi was left stunned. She could only laugh. They stopped to watch her revel in their pain. She and all the readers got off on these plots.
"Okay, okay, okay. I'll admit some requests-" She got cut off by them grumbling. "Okay, all plots are weird and anomalous but come one some good ones are tucked in there."
They paused to look at each other before looking back at her. She flinched before speaking up. "Like the Grandmother Naruto mini-series that Samtreddy always requests. I secretly think they keep track of the story because it does have a consistent timeline."
Naruto grinned at that.
"Or Tootsie Roll. I remember you guys stuttering over the slang," Shikadai chuckled.
"Or our first angst called Crashing Down," Shikaku recalled.
"The only fun was watching Kazumi slave away to get a sequel up," Shikamaru laughed.
"Laugh at my pain why don't you. I'm not good at Part Two's. Only certain ones catch my interest. I know Peeping Tom and A Match are going to get a second part."
"Should you say that out loud?" Naruto asked in concern, Kazumi teared up. He was the only one who cared for her pain. "They might hear you."
"Shhh, don't lure them in," Shikadai mumbled.
"Let's go back to the good stuff," Naruto said before smirking. "Let's talk about how I get to the top in the best ways possible!"
Shikamaru and Shikaku groaned as the blonde went off the rails with bragging. "Next, next, next!" Shikadai covered his ears.
"What about all the red-haired Naruto stories from yessi_noya and others?" Naruto said with a smile. "I'm glad they like the red-haired version of me."
"Single Father made me so sad," Shikamaru admitted as he looked over at Shikadai and Naruto.
"You know that raises another issue, it's glaringly evident," Kazumi muttered as she sat down in her spinning chair.
"Hmm, what issue?" Shikadai asked while digging out his ear.
"You're a quite popular kid," Kazumi said turning to the youngest Nara. "I don't think I've written Boruto in any sex positions."
They stiffened.
"I mean sure he's a bit of an asshole in his show but I think I can write a decent Boruto but nobody requests it."
"You do realize that the book is called Nara One-shots, right? Where would Boruto fit?" Shikamaru folded his arms in thought as he placed a hand on his chin.
"I don't know but when I said in the description that some may include Shikadai I didn't mean sexual! But we went there! So why not bring Boruto into the studio?!"
Naruto opened his mouth to comment before he closed his mouth and shook his head.
"This is a safe space Naruto. You can freely chat," Kazumi assured but the dark look in her green eyes said otherwise.
"Boruto is not sexy," Shikaku stated bluntly. Kazumi's face went blank.
"Excuse me?"
Shikaku doubled down. "He is not sexy, he's too dramatic and problematic for certain scenarios that can be easily filled by Shikadai. Nara males have a certain charm and even Naruto in whatever body form to could top or bottom no matter the plot. We're flexible, Boruto isn't. That's why he's always a kid when he shows up. Because he is a kid."
"Blunt, but I still wanna corrupt him," Kazumi pouted. "They corrupted Shikadai for me."
A silence descended upon the group for a moment before Shikamaru broke it. "You're a fucking pervert," He aimed this to Kazumi who cupped her cheeks as her eyes dilated at the accusation.
"Ah? What did I do?" She was wearing that same creepy grin on her face and it made them shiver. All of them at some point we're subjected to her writing them giving and receiving. The countless foursomes, threesomes, and twosomes.
Kinks of various degrees along with weird situations that are normally not associated with sexual fulfillment. Shikamaru thought back to 'Stalker' and shuddered. He fucked Naruto using blood as fucking lube!
Shikadai blushed as his first sex scene was 'Tradition'. From then on, he never got to step back into his innocent role.
Shikaku was gone since 'Public Sex'. So much for being just a parent.
Shikamaru was just doomed. That tacky stepbrother scene. "Ah, the cringe!"
Kasumi laughed at their expressions. She turned to Naruto who wore a thoughtful expression. "Anything traumatic for you Naruto?"
"I just cause a lot of second-hand humiliation. But I like all my scenes because they all contrast so drastically. I think I was the bottom in one then directly after I was smacking Shikamaru's ass."
"Fuck off," Shikamaru groaned as he blushed.
"Can we talk about that one incest plot that had no hint of Naruto?" Shikadai perked up as he was scrolling through the plots on his phone."
Naruto and Kazumi laughed as Shikaku and Shikamaru turned away from each other. "Let's not talk about it," They said in unison.
"Alright, what about Fixation and Rouge Fixation. Those one-shots had requests for a full book," Naruto turned to Kazumi who pointedly looked away. "Author-chan~"
"Fuck off I have six chapters and I'm stuck," She whined.
"Help me stepbro~" Shikadai cooed and Shikamaru cried out like he was intense agony.
"Let me live it down, please," He begged.
"Never, it's so tacky," Naruto sputtered as he laughed. Shikamaru turned around to him with a dark smirk. "I don't like that look in your eyes."
"Let's talk about you having tits and a pussy. Getting pregnant," Shikamaru was on the floor, leaning on his side with his head propped up on his hand.
"Point made, quite a few plots center on you and Shikaku obsessed with breast milk but let's never forget that in Alpha's Properties I quite literally stuff my hand up to my elbow in Shikamaru? Or was it Shikaku?"
"Both," Kazumi admitted shamelessly. She had an idol smile on her lips.
"How do you sit there with a blank face and write smut?" Shikaku asked as he turned to Kazumi who was smiling.
"I have no idea what you mean. I'm most certainly blush when writing those scenes," Her tone was dripping with sarcasm.
"Says the one who listens to hentai while writing to get inspiration. Not watch. LISTEN!" Naruto wailed as he remembers tripping over Kazumi's extremely long headphone cord and hearing the obscene skin slapping.
"Eh, if gay hentai was around, I wouldn't have to draw on heterosexual hentai. I can work with it but it just doesn't hit as I want it to. So, I just listen while imaging you guys and what position-"
They all tuned Kazumi's potty mouth out as they gave her looks of disbelief. How shameless!
They got back in when she took a big breath to calm down. She had a small smile on her face. Despite all the weird requests, it was obvious she took pride in it all.
"Why did you start all this?"
Kazumi tilted her head in confusion.
"Why did you choose this ship to write, if I remember correctly, you were once a SasuNaru fanatic. You even published a trash piece when you were 13-"
Kazumi shushed him with a horrified look on her face. "Don't slander me!"
"Come on the question is burning red hot from some of your readers," Shikadai teased, Shikaku and Shikamaru seemed to have fallen asleep.
"They only ask why I chose this ship they didn't know I supported SasuNaru or that I had a trash piece of that ship," Kazumi took off her glasses and polished them before slipping them back on. "Children abuse is not right. I rest my case."
"Details please, it's the biggest gay ship to come outta my series," Naruto persisted.
"I can't believe I'm breaking the fourth wall. What was I thinking," Kazumi mumbled to herself before answering the question in a light tone? "I was on the hype of SasuNaru but all the fanfiction started with abuse or Sasuke cheating. Like what the fuck? Other than that, he's the fucking playboy that Naruto somehow manages to stop with the power of emotions he's never felt before."
Kazumi gagged before continuing. "It's bad enough that Naruto in every fanfiction has some trauma is it too much to ask for the partner to not be shitty. Like he's in an orphanage or he was homeless or abusive parents etc. Can the boyfriend please be decent instead of fucking up and making feel even worse? He has depression most times to add to the pile."
"Sasuke only has his parents or clan going for him but by his teenage years, when he's mostly over it he's just a rude asshole. He has no excuse. He lives comfortably either with or without Itachi in fanfiction. I just don't like the hurt."
"So, what made you start on ShikaNaru?" Shikadai had scooted closer and Shikamaru's eyes opened.
"Well, that came when I was watching Shippuden, back then I was leaning on KibaNaru for a hot minute then when Jiraiya died and Naruto got depressed. Outside the hospital, Shikamaru gave him some kind words and winked at him. He fucking winked, I think every bell that called for reading lit up like fireworks and they soared and exploded across my eyes."
"I just knew I found it so I dug around all my playgrounds Wattpad, Ao3, Fanfiction.net. The works and I found everything there are to offer. But it wasn't enough and other than my trash SasuNaru I have never taken my writing to Wattpad. But then global disaster hit and I caved and put it out there," Kazumi smiled brightly.
"And I don't regret a single thing because I love this ship. If I stopped twisting Naruto and Shikamaru I can write wholesome things, should I need to. But I love writing this ship and Nara One-shots is the most creative. Because some of those One-shots I have seen entire stories for I just don't have the time to add them onto my other writing projects. I'll get to them one day if people are willing to stick around but while I'm in the moment I'll enjoy typing away until I'm running on coffee fumes. Listening to hentai to get better at smut and caving into Part Two requests that are persistent."
"I'm having fun here and thanks to everyone we got a hundred ShikaNaru, Shikaku x Naruto and Shikadai x Naruto One-shots out there. Technically 99 but who cares. Let's continue on our journey!"