Touch Me

Anything Goes

"That's incredible! Connor, why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I-I didn't think it was that outstanding is all.."

"That's not it, Mom!! You should have seen him! He can work the board like a pro, like nothing you've ever seen before! He can do it with his eyes closed!! Literally! He can close his eyes and if you tell him to operate a certain setting, he can! And-And there's hundreds of buttons and switches and dials and he just knows them all!! They hired him in a heartbeat, obviously! And he started a week ago, I've been visiting him and bringing him dinner all the time and I-I get to watch him! He's amazing! And he never talks about it! It's insane!" Kevin said to his mother, incredibly enthusiastic, making my cheeks red.

"It's not that amazing.. it's just a sound board.." I said quietly

"Connor, don't sell yourself short! You're amazing! He's amazing"

"Connor, I think you should be very proud.." Kevin's mother said

"Well thank you. Both of you. It's not that big of a deal, but it is really exciting to do again... I'd love if you could come see one of the shows when we open.. it'd mean the world to have my mom there.." she smiled when I called her mom. She's my mom, really. More of a mother than my real mom. She's been there for me. And loved me like her own son. As far as I was concerned, she was my mom.

"I'd love to go. When do you open?"

"On The nineteenth. But we run until the twenty eighth."

"I'll see when I'm free! I'll let you know which day I'll be there."

"Thank you!! Oh, thank you!"

"I'm excited to go! I bet it'll be wonderful."

I've never had a parent to talk to about things like this. In middle school I could occasionally tell my grandfather that I was participating in plays and such, but I didn't get to see him much. Those stereotypical evenings at the dinner table, spent telling your parents about your new activities and interests were evenings I was unfamiliar with. I've never even had parents to tell that stuff to at all. Even if I were to do something my father had done as a boy, like a sport of some sort, it still wouldn't appeal to him to hear about it. No matter what I do, it wouldn't be good enough for him. I could climb Mount Everest and he would be impartial. Actually, he'd try to make me feel badly anyway. I can't please him with a single thing I do. Even if I do everything he asks of me, it's never enough for him. I realized at a very young age that I could never make my father proud. I couldn't even not embarrass him with my existence. I could never be enough for him, no matter what I did. So it was useless to even try to talk to him. To try to talk about my day or my interests or something I had done that I was proud of. It would be absolutely meaningless to even try to say a word to him.
This was new, but it was wonderful even as of late. To have a mother supporting you. And being proud of you. And even just being interested in you. I know I'm an adult, but it was like one of those missing pieces of my childhood was finally there.

"And you'd have to be absolutely mad to think I won't be there for every performance." Kevin chimed in

"Sweetheart, I think you'll grow tired of it pretty quickly.."

"Never. I'm so proud of you, Sunshine, I can't wait. I am going to sit front row for every performance. And I'm going to see you after the shows and tell you how well you did, and how proud I am!"

"Kevin..." I smiled

"I'm just ecstatic. This is what you were meant to do, and it's what you love to do. I'm over the moon."

"I love you. I love you so much. Both of you."

"We love you too. You absolutely own my heart. And I'm fairly sure you hold a higher place in my mother's than even I do" Kevin chuckled, a hand gently on my cheek