Touch Me

Dayenu

I woke up to knocking on my bedroom door. With a groan, I arose and opened it to find my grandfather standing there, solemnly.

"Good morning.. am I late? It- it's still dark..."

"No, it's uh.. Come here." He walked into the living room

I was confused, but followed him, sitting down on the couch.

"What's the matter?" I rubbed my eyes

"..It's about your grandmother."

"..Is she okay? Did something happen? She's alright, isn't she?" I immediately began to panic.

"She... passed away during the night."

"... are you serious?"

He nodded

My heart sank.

I threw away my last chance to speak to her. My last chance to see her. I'm never going to see her again. What the hell is wrong with me.

What do I say? What do I do? Oh god, why didn't I go see her?

"...Are you alright, Connor?"

".. I-I'm just having a hard time processing all this..." I was trying my hardest not to cry

He looked just as heartbroken as I was. He was just doing a better job of hiding it.

"Um....C-Can I be excused? I-I need to be... alone for a minute...."

He nodded as I slowly got up, walking to my room and locking the door behind me. I almost immediately started crying, finally alone to let my emotions out. After ten minutes of sitting there in tears, he knocked on my door again

"Are you alright, in there?"

"Yeah.. I'm alright...."

I didn't feel like I could go to school that day. I don't feel like I can even leave the room. Even when I had stopped crying, I wasn't ready to leave my room. My grandfather left me alone, for the most part, only engaging in conversation to see if I needed something to eat. The answer was always no. Hours later, he called my name again.

"Connor?"

"Y-Yeah..?"

"Your friend is here to see you..." He replied

I didn't respond until I heard a light knock on the door, followed by Kevin's voice.

"...Sunshine, can I come in?"

With hesitation, I got up and unlocked and opened my door for him

"Hi.." I wiped my eyes dry

He entered, closing the door behind him.

"Where were you today..? I missed you"

"I-I stayed home." I sat down on my bed, not making eye contact with him

He sat down in front of me

"Are you feeling alright? "

"Yeah, I'm fine. I-I just needed a day home..."

"Are you alright, Connor...?" He lifted my head up, placing his hand under my chin

"Yeah, I'm just having a bad day.." I closed my eyes

"Bad how? Sweetheart, you can talk to me.. What's wrong?"

"M-My grandmother uh..." I stopped, trying to stop the tears from coming back

He frowned and put his hand on my cheek.

"Take your time.."

"S-She.... She died.. last night." I wiped my eyes