Touch Me

Purity

Kevin's eyes fluttered open slowly, lifting his head up from the wall and directing his gaze towards me.

"Morning..."

He smiled, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Morning, Sunshine.."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Well enough.. I'm sorry I fell asleep on you" He sat up, fixing his hair a bit

"I don't mind. I'm glad you slept well."

"How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad.. about how you'd expect."

He put his hand on my back

"I'm so glad you're okay...really."

"I am too.. I'm sorry"

"I know you are.. You promise you won't ever try anything like that again?"

"I promise. I won't."

"Thank you." He pulled me into a soft hug.

He let go of me a couple seconds later, smiling weakly.

"What time is your dad coming home, Sunshine?"

"Not sure. Around one pm I think"

He nodded.

"What time is it?"

"Uh, eleven."

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry I slept so late.."

"Don't be. I'm fine with just sitting here next to you."

He smiled a bit.

"You want anything to eat?"

"Nah.. I'm not very hungry."

"Are you feeling sick?"

I shook my head

"Not really."

"Okay.. can you eat at some point today, then?"

"I'll try..."

"Thank you.."

I nodded.

"When do you think I can sleep?"

"It's safe by now. I appreciate you staying up last night... I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"I get it. I appreciate you caring so much.."

"Of course I care, Connor." He rubbed my back in soft circles

".. I love you.. A lot..."

"I love you too, Hotshot" He half-smiled

Kevin looked exceptionally good in the morning, like, far better than any normal person is supposed to look in the morning. His bedhead wasn't non-existent, but it was very cute. His tired smile. His yawn. His entire presence was breathtaking. I'm not sure I'll ever begin to understand why a man like him is interested in me in the least, but good god, I'm lucky.

He took his jacket off, slightly exposing his muscles beneath his tight shirt. He tossed his jacket off to the side, leaning over on me, his head on my shoulder. He still smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, but it was overpowered by a woodsy smell. I hadn't noticed too much of that before, but it was pleasant.

"Did you stop smoking? ..I don't smell it on you."

"For the most part.. I still do every now and then, but I'm trying to quit.. It's not good for me."

"I'm glad you're stopping.. It's not all that safe"

He smiled a bit.

"Well, I'm glad I've got your support. It certainly helps.."

"You've always got my support."

He kissed the shoulder he was resting on.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, get some sleep.. should be alright, now." He replied, sitting up.

I laid down, my head on his lap. He draped his jacket over me as a blanket of sorts, running his hands through my hair. I fell asleep quickly, his jacket keeping me warm.

I woke up around three hours later at two in the afternoon. I looked around my room but Kevin had left, presumably, so he wouldn't get caught by my parents.
I noticed a note on my desk, with a granola bar on top

"Sorry, I had to bail on you. Your dad came home. Eat up and call me when you wake up.
I love you, Hotshot"

I smiled when I read it, picking up my phone to call Kevin. It only rang a few times before he picked up

"Hey, Kev"

"Hey, Sunshine. How'd you sleep?"

"Not too bad"

"Good. How're you feeling?"

"Better. Still tired, but it's whatever."

"I'm glad you're feeling better. My mom says hi and that she hopes you're okay"

"...You told her?"

"Yeah.. I didn't want to lie about where I was, I don't like to lie.."

"Oh... well... Tell her I say thank you"

"Certainly will."

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday.. I shouldn't have done that."

"I know. There's no use feeling guilty about it, we just gotta get you feeling better."

"...You're a good boyfriend. And person... You're a really great guy."

"Thank you... I appreciate it. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah. Not fantastic, but I mean anything's better than yesterday. That's for sure"

"That's good. Maybe you should... you know, see a therapist. That might help you feel better.."

"I wouldn't be able to get one. We can't afford it, and there isn't one close by.. besides, it's not like my father would let me. What could I possibly say to a therapist that wouldn't lead to another child's services call?"

"I'm sorry.. I wish I knew how to make you feel better..."

"It's not your fault. It's not your job to make me better, you have more important things to worry about."

"You're the most important."

"Thanks.. but I shouldn't have to be your responsibility. I appreciate the hell out of it, and you, but you shouldn't have to feel like my feelings are your responsibility. I will try to find help as best I can, but I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to get much. I'm doing much better, though."

"Thank you for seeking out help. And, I can assure you, I don't feel like if I'm obligated to help you. I help you because I care about you."

"I really don't deserve you, Kevin...I-I gotta run soon, what did you want me to call for?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright. I was worried is all. Thank you for calling.

"Sure thing. I gotta go. Tell your mom I say hi, and that I'm doing alright. I love you."

"I love you too, Hotshot. Bye. Be safe. Eat something."

"I will. Bye"

I hung up the phone, setting it back down on my bed, now realizing that I had forgotten to tell Kevin his jacket was here. I'll bring it to him tomorrow. His jacket had the exact same scent on it as him. I wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't especially prominent and comforting. I put the jacket in my backpack so my father wouldn't see it. I could hear him downstairs, but he hadn't bothered to say hello to me. Truthfully I didn't care all that much. That man is the last thing on my mind.

I need to focus on my own health. I need to focus on feeling alright. If not for myself then for Kevin. I owe it to both myself and him to get better.