Touch Me

Cherry Red

"Look at me!" He screamed, throwing me to the ground.

I groaned in pain as I hit the floor, looking up at him.

"You don't tell me 'no'. You don't ever get to tell me 'no'."

I nodded quickly, my eyes filled with tears as his anger grew.

"Don't you ever try to tell me 'no' again!" Kevin growled

I nodded again in defense, willing to do anything to get him to stop yelling.

"You're worthless!"He grabbed me by the throat, directing my eyes at him. I gulped anxiously, terrified for my life.

"You hear me?"

I nodded once more. He pulled his belt off, slamming it into my side.

"Say it!"

"I-I'm worthless!"

"Now say you're sorry!" He kicked my side, an even sharper pain resulting.

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed

"Good." He let me go, discarding the fact that I was on the floor, bawling loudly. "Now get into bed... Now!"

I woke up with a panicked gasp, tears streaming down my face, both horrified, and relieved. Relieved that it was only a dream. Horrified I had thought of it. Horrified by the thought of Kevin hurting me like that. I sighed heavily, falling back to the pillow.

"Hey, you okay?" Kevin mumbled sleepily, pulling his arm over my side.

I jumped a bit at his touch, still in the mindset of my nightmare.

He lifted his head.

"Connor, is everything okay?" He slid his hand up my side in an attempt to calm me.

"Yeah... Bad dream.."

"Do you want to talk about it..?"

"..No...."

"Are you sure? You seem pretty shaken up..."

"I don't know.."

"Okay.. well, I understand if you don't wanna talk about it..if you do, I'm right here. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you..."

He nodded and tucked his forehead into the crook of my neck and shutting his eyes again.

"... Kevin, you won't hurt me, right?"

"What? ...Baby, of course, not.."

"... you won't yell at me if I say no to sex, right?"

"What? No. What are you talking about? What happened, Love..?" He sat up, turning to me.

"Nightmare."

"What happened in it?"

"I-I said no. And you got mad... really mad. You pushed me down into the wall and you tried to choke me. A-And you were screaming, and you made me do it even though I didn't want to."

"Connor, you know I'd never do that..."

"Yeah.."

"..You do know that, right?"

"Of course I do.. I'm just shaken, is all.. needed a little reassurance."

"Good. Con, I'd never do that."

'I know, I just.... i-it's weird not being abused. It's scary to be abused, but it feels wrong not to be. But even still, I get scared someone will. And.. you're one of the only people who never have... Therefore, I fear that may change.."