Touch Me

Disdain

Kevin and I decided it best for him to take the job. We were having a hard time, financially, and Kevin taking that job was incredibly helpful. And, I've also decided to find a job. At this rate, with both of us getting jobs, and Kevin's being such a high paying one compared to most jobs in our old town, we actually had extra money. We could go to a reasonably priced concert or spend a day out of town, without having to save up for a planned trip for a long while.

We hadn't even fully moved yet, but we had calculated our newly raised income several different ways. We're gonna do alright.

The day we moved was rather nerve wracking. We packed up everything we owned, and moved it over into Massachusetts. We'd already sold our old house to this family from New Jersey.
Kevin's mom was heartbroken to see us go. We were sad too. We were going to miss her just as much as she'd miss us. We had to promise to call her every week, which we were glad to do.

So, off we went. We packed up the moving truck, putting Frida in the front with us.
It was a short drive. Well, not short. But it felt short considering it was in another state. It felt short for a move to another state.

We were scared, I'll admit. But this was for the best. And excitement overpowered the fear.
Kevin held my hand the entire time. Quite literally. He held my hand until we got there, with the exception of getting gas or snacks.

"...are we going to make new friends here?"

"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow

"It took me a long time to make friends back home.. they were your friends first. Will we make new ones?"

"Of course we will."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"...Will Frida like our new house?"

"I'm sure she will... are you having second thoughts?"

"No..I'm just nervous. Naturally."

"I get it. But I think this is going to be a really good thing. Do you?"

"I do. I'm just glad we're doing this together.. I'd be terrified, otherwise"

"Me too... you make me brave." He kissed the top of my hand, just after giving me a smile

"...I love you."

"I love you too... you don't need to worry. Everything will be great."

"I'm sure. I'm just nervous... you know,  who wouldn't be?"

"I get it.. I'm kinda nervous too.. but it'll be okay."

"Yeah.. I think I'm just going to be quiet for a little... if that's alright."

"Yeah, that's fine.. you're sure you're okay?"

I nodded

"Alright. Good. That's all that matters."

He brought his hand up to my shoulder, rubbing it gently.

I know this is going to be a good change for us. I'm just nervous. But even still, I'm excited.

When I was a kid, I was sure I would never be happy. I wasn't even sure I would make it to twenty. I was certain that nobody could ever love me.

But here I am. Moving to a new house, with my husband, who I love with all my heart, and who loves me back just as much. Nine years, we've been together. And he still manages to adore me. He still makes me just as happy as ever.
I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. Despite what I thought for so long, I'm not hopeless. Nobody is. We all have a shot at happiness. And if we just stick it out, we can find ourselves happier than we could have ever imagined. I'm so lucky to be here today. I'm so lucky to have all I do. I'm the luckiest guy on the planet.