So! Today's chapter is all about how to get fired from work.
You might currently have a job, you might not. Either way, consider this a list of things you shall NEVARRR dooo! Well, unless you WANNA be fired of course.
CHEETOS!!
Sorry, but again, this is the book of random.
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HOW TO GET FIRED. (The fun way)
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1) Walk in without any pants on.
2) Go into the break room and blow up eggs in the microwave.
3) If you work at a desk, work UNDER it.
4) Come to work early and hide everything.
5) Go to the break room and eat/ throw out ALL of the food/ coffee before anyone else can get some. Do this everyday.
6) Release your pet cats to roam free through the building. Add a couple dogs to make it more exciting.
7) Do jumping jacks every couple hours at spontaneous times.
8) Adopt some new accents. Randomly switch from a Jamaican accent to a British to an asian one at time to time.
9) Throw/ fling food around while standing on a piece of furniture. Yell, "LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!!"
10) walk into the boss's office. Right when you walk in, turn around and walk back out. Do this several times and then just leave.
11) flood the bathroom.
12) gather snails from outside and bring them in. stick them to the walls singing Deck the Halls.
13) brush your teeth while working.
14) run as fast as you can to the wall and slam into it. Collapse onto the floor and start making animal noises. Then get up and pull the snails off the walls and juggle them. Stick them back on and return to your seat. Make this a daily routine.
15) rent a horse and ride it into the building.
16) get a recording of the presidents voice (Obama) and put it on the intercom.
17) run in with fake grenades. Yell, "fire in the holeee!!" throw the grenade against the wall and watch people freak out then realize its fake. Say, "carry on."
18) during the workday, print out a photo of a squirrel and fold it up. Whisper to another worker to pass it around. Do this with 5+ squirrel photos.
19) when no ones talking, scream super loud like a little girl. When people look at you, pretend to be confused.
20) Ask the boss for a raise or you'll blow his house up.
22) Put up colorful Christmas decorations when its not Christmas.
23) put cake all over your face and run in chanting "We want a raise! We want a raise!"
24) ask coworkers if your job will allow zoo animals inside.
25) Buy ants from an insect store. Release them into the workplace.
25) pretend to pass out at random times everyday.
26) get a packet of shredded cheese. And throw it in the air like confetti. Scream "CHEESE IS YOUR FRIENDD!!!!!"
27) Start rapping an inappropriate song pretending to be gangsta while working. When people ask you to stop, say "SHUT UP," like a tough gang member.
28) one day just go inside and destroy everything.
29) Sit in the middle of the room with your legs crossed and start chanting like a tribal Indian.
30) play around with a ouija board to make the building haunted. Quit that day.
31) Replace the coffee in the coffee pot with Coca Cola.
32) Put super glue (or concrete..) all over the floor, so when people walk on it, they get stuck.
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YOU ARE READING
The BIG Book of RANDOM
RandomBasically where I let out my random energy and things I would like the world to know. CAUTION: Too many intakes of random jokes may result in LAUGHTER :D
