Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

88

-You're not my person, I am my person.

I think its important to realize that I can accept my past, for it helped me shape myself into the current wise girl I am today, without hating on the people that put me through hell before. And the biggest plot that wasn't planned was for me to not want them back in my life anymore, without holding grudges. I can accept their apologies and let them try to "win me back", like they put it when they confessed about their feelings. But the truth is, even if I did let them talk to me, I won't give them my trust again. I just can't be such an idiot, and give the knive back to the ones that stabbed me with it, inviting them to repeat the same damage. I can appreciate the effort they're trying to do, without letting them play a big role in my life again. The big role belongs to me. I'm my own stamina, my own motivation, the person I look up to. I'm the person that watched herself go through all of these phases, becoming better without becoming bitter. I was here for myself every time I had a breakdown in the past. So when I say I took their place, I'm only giving myself some credits in my story. I may accept their friendship, but nothing will be the same ever again. We may joke and spend good times together, but I'm not giving them any power over me. It feels different when I look at my life for what it had become, when I look at them from a new perspective. Now I just know they're not my people. They told me about the toxic kind of friendship, while what I was looking for was a bond as strong as a family bond. And they don't have the sufficient affection nor the loyalty to give me it.