Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

16

-Unsent texts part one

I imagined a conversation we would've had, in another dimension. I wrote texts I knew I would never send to you, to find my own closure. The conversation would start with a simple "Hey".

Then it would proceed this way:

"I hope you're doing well, but not too well without me. I still can't seem to hate you, if I'm being honest with myself, even after you showed me how easy it was for you to leave me. I guess I never mattered in the first place, for you to fight and not let me go."

Then I'd get bolder and let it all out, for the sake of my sanity.

"You were captivating from the start. I saw that fire in you and was instantly pulled by your charms. I have to admit I always liked to play with fire, and contemplate the flames. I was guilty of all of that, but also of making you my poetry. I somehow knew you weren't coming back, and I had to go on without you. I never heard of you again, and had to settle for making you unforgettable the only way I knew how, through my poetry."

I'd get emotional and keep going.

"You were distant from the start, but I played the game on the long run. I gained your trust, and your friendship, or so I thought. The only inconvenience was me eventually catching feelings. The more I was getting attached, the more you seemed to be pulling away. You managed to trigger every emotion from me, by being your unemotional distant self. I kept ignoring the obvious outcome and delaying the inevitable that would happen."

I stared at my phone, remembering every great memory, to the last painful one. 

"I had to let you go, for my own sake, and move on without closure or an apology I knew I deserved. But you don't care, not really..."

I stopped writing, contemplating the "SEND" bottom. I had to forget, and keep moving forward, or every step would've been for nothing. I ended up deleting it all, deciding it was probably for the best.

A few months passed, and you were still unapologetic, blinded by your ego. I had to stay strong, and move on without a confrontation, or a possible apology.