Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

66

- Introvert/Extrovert

I was considering a theory the other day, since I was sick, and unable to distract myself. The theory of socialization. If I, was a conservative person, I'd keep things often to myself. I'd probably never be the one to try to discover a person. They would have to be chatty, and give some vibes, before I give them just the same amount of consideration. Give what you get is a very tempting way of life, keeping myself safe from rejection somehow. On the other hand, if I chose to be the one beginning a conversation, I'd probably discover more people, and I'd feel thankful to have them as a part in my life later on. The theories are infinite, just like the actions you get to choose to act on. Maybe I'd meet someone essential by trying to be this way, or I'd end up friends with some cold empty shell of a human being that would consume my energy without giving me anything in return, making me lost and trapped. It all comes down to what you choose to work on. Maybe assessing this theory should make me think twice before making these kind of rushed decisions, or maybe overthinking things can only destroy me slowly. It's all maybe's and it's all up to me. I know it will take time for me to fully discover my new self, and I know I'm currently lost. But I think there's a bit of both inside of me and I'm trying to make sense of this freedom I accessed by distancing myself from the manipulative guy I was so eager to please. This perception of life is a bit foreign to me and I'm still trying to make sense of all the new people I see clearer now.

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I know, it may seem different from my other writings. But believe me when I say, i was lost for such a long time, trying to discover who i became, I began questioning everything around me to try to understand myself. That's why I decided to post it here. It's part of the healing process.