Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

50

-Overthinking.

Sometimes I wonder, are you still affected by our story like I am? It doesn't require you crying over me. When you're sitting alone in your room, do I cross your mind? Do you feel that rush of sadness, that regret regarding the loss of your bestfriend? Or when you're with the guys, do you wonder what difference it would make with me hanging out with all of you? Or is it just me? When I saw your picture with your friends, laughing, cross handed as usual, I wondered for a moment, if we were still friends, I'd be at the same table, smiling happily, enjoying my time with you, that's what it would feel like, right? But then, I remembered the jokes and the bullying that nourished my insecurities, and I can't say I can handle these unpredictable elastics tying us to each other, or trust them anymore. One side has to suffer. And it's a non-ending cycle of love and hate that actually ended when I had enough of you hurting me. When you caused me another level of hurt, way too intense for me to stay. That's what you were, you were too much. You filled the empty parts in my life, in a devastating way that still has remaining ashes of the broken pieces of my heart that had to suffer along the way.