Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

61

-You made me think I needed you.

I still blame myself for what happened. Love blinded me. I was asking you to give a shit about us. But the truth is, you never loved me. It was just lust for you, I questioned myself and pondered over a closed subject leading to nowhere. You said it yourself that you only found me attractive. I saw it as a possibility to make you fall for me. It all starts with attraction. But you were fighting these feelings, you were scared of love. I wanted you to love me. A childish and selfish thought, I know. You weren't ready to love anybody, you had yet to fix yourself. You needed someone to make you feel special, and I did. You were my favorite person and I guess at some point we both knew it. And now you're gone, you've forgotten all about me a year ago. You don't care. I wish you did. I wish you'd apologize for saying what you said and promise me you won't hurt me again. I wish you'd hold me tight and make me feel better. I'm getting worse and I want you by my side. I don't love you anymore. I need you as a friend. I want you in my life. A lot of songs hit me because I feel like the lyrics are about you, about us. Please don't leave me. I can't imagine all we had tossed in the trash. If only I could feel alive one more time. I'm tired of pretending. Our egos are in our ways. If it wasn't for my pride, I'd fight for you like I did before. Tears are burning my skin like fire burns flesh. My heart is aching and the wound is getting bigger while the memories flooding in my brain show me what I miss, those moments we hung out together. I need that. I need you.