Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

25

- Loyal soldier.

I found it ironic that you still had control of me, considering you were long gone. I chose myself and picked up the pieces you broke all on my own, yet somehow managed to stay loyal to you after it all ended.

I realized it took a lot of work not to give up on a relationship, but most importantly, it had to all be balanced and two-sided to last.

Acceptance filled me, knowing this was the reality of things, and happy endings weren't always an option. I had to become reasonable and accept defeat. 

I managed to put a mask on every day because I still had to face you for another year before that nightmare would be finally over. It took me a while to adapt and focus on myself a bit more.

I couldn't hate you, after all you did to me, and I stayed loyal to the very friends that betrayed me. I was torn inside and couldn't bring myself to tear down your reputation you cherished more than anything else. 

I managed to take back the bruised trust I put in you and stayed loyal behind your backs. I did you a favor, not wanting to stain your names, not telling a soul what happened, only for you to try and bully me for staying quiet. 

You had the nerve to mistake my kindness for weakness and try to cross me. My loyalty to you was clearly misplaced, but I valued that in myself, and was adamant on not losing my values because of heartbreak.

You had no right to be angry at me for going my own way, not when you were the one that ruined it all. You were threatening me again, just like you did on our last fight. I wasn't going to let you spread a false rumor where you were the victim, and I was the one who wronged you. 

I was done making excuse for you, and things were getting clearer than ever. You were never loyal to begin with, and I was done making up excuses for your behavior.  

I promised myself on that day that I would never defend your names again. I was done being your loyal soldier.