Roses And Thorns (UNDER HEAVY EDITING)

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-Ghosts don't scare me, humans do.

How many times do I have to spell it in different ways to get rid of these destructive feelings inside of my chest, this roaring anger and extreme sadness inside of me just need a person to make my heart a beating thing again, to make me forget about the past. I'm not in love with my loneliness anymore. It's suffocating me and I want it to stop. I want to find other reasons to be happy, to be someone similar to who I used to be before you stabbed my soul to death. I don't want to be afraid to rely on someone. I can't cope with it on my own anymore, I just need to replace you and get definitely over you. You don't deserve me and everything is working on us to be apart for it is better that way. You were toxic for me, and even long after you left me on my own, your ghost still finds ways to haunt me sometimes. I want it all to stop, I want to meet new people, to explore that mysterious unpredictable thing that is life. I am stronger now, I just don't want to be on my own anymore. I want to do things I never did before, things I was afraid of. I am both a free soul and a trapped one. I can easily breathe freedom and new possibilities, and the only person standing in my way is my old self. I found safety in keeping people out of my daily routine, out with the strong wall I built keeping them away. I did keep my feelings safe, by not letting anyone in and finding peace in my solitude. But I currently aspire to make a subtle change in my life, and trust my new strong self not to be afraid to let people in, for she can't be broken anymore. I became the independent warrior I claimed to be, and it's not a bad thing anymore to let myself get close to new people. If I can't let myself make new memories and have new special people, I'll never really find closure with my past.